There is no Word to Compare

Posted on December 24, 2011 by

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. (NAB, Jn 1:1-1)

Christmas is a special day. And it seems to me that my words are very trite and they cannot contain the magnitude of the significance of this Holy event.  We might be surrounded by images of Santa, Grinches, Coke polar bears, the Peanuts Gang, pets with antlers, and even some hang Sponge Bob Square Pants ornaments from the trees.   But through all of the glamour and comedy there lies a Sacred Mystery that is more profound than our senses can grasp.  In fact, we might have to dig through all of the glitter to find the true Light.

God is the Divine Author of His plan, the Word made flesh.  Some of us may have heard it over and over.  Others may be contemplating it for the first time.  It is one of those Sacred Mysteries of how God becomes Incarnate and is born as a little helpless baby.

How can one describe the Word?  Painters through the ages have tried to capture the image of Jesus and writers have tried to explain Him.  Recently I saw an action figure Jesus posted by a friend on face book.  As I recall, even St. Thomas Aquinas, in trying to explain God in his Summa called his own efforts trash.  There is no other word to compare.   Everything is pale in comparison to all that He really is.  No matter how much tinsel we try to slather on the tree, it is still too dull.

I try to grasp a portion of the true meaning of Christmas.  I wait for that sacred moment that warms my heart but unfortunately in the midst of my own darkness it is usually just a small glimpse that flickers away as fast as it comes.  I like to meditate on the Light.  The Light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it (Jn 1:5).  There is something about being in the Light that takes away fear.  It also gives warmth, insight, and guidance.  Some prefer to wake up slowly with the light because a big dose can be so bright that it can be blinding.   We have light switch wars at my house as some like to illuminate all rooms (I’ve had glasses since I was 10 years old). Others like to sit by the glow of one small candle.

I remember one year going to a “Christmas shop” and being unable to find one single hanging decoration for the tree that had any resemblance of the nativity.  I am sure that some would rather to hear about the Holiday Season and Hello Kitty décor than Christmas.  But my own name means Christmas and I am a Christian.  So I inevitably will rave about it.

Sometimes the revelation that speaks loudest is when I see an ornament and am reminded of the Madonna with Child; or when I hear a version of Ave Maria sung on the radio or at Church.  Then for a brief fleeting moment there is joy and one small glimpse.  I have shared that it is in desperation that I sought for God in my life.  But in the process I was overcome with awe. I didn’t realize that it was the Word that had reached down to me. This happened long before I even thought about looking for Him.  And if you don’t mind me saying it, He reaches down to each one of us. That is what this celebration is all about.

May your Christmas be filled with awe and God’s generous blessings.

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Saying it Like it is

Posted on December 23, 2011 by

“He raises the needy from the dust; from the dung heap He lifts up the poor” (Responsorial Psalm from 1 Sam. 2:8, USCCB daily readings)

This doesn’t seem to be a very elegant description right before Christmas.  Yet it is a necessary one.  The older I get it seems like the more I have to do a double take on what I hear.  Either my teenagers have the tendency to mumble or I am getting closer to needing a hearing aid.  Most likely it is both.  That is why when I heard yesterday’s (December 22) responsorial psalm, I had to recheck the reading to make sure I heard and understood that God is in the business of lifting some out of a heap of crap.

Our journey can take us in a direction where we might find ourselves in deep dung.  We might be weighed down by issues that seem to engulf us.  And we need a helping hand to rise above the muck.  In addition some choose to wallow in it.  Rehashing and recycling the same old garbage. Others might like to dig it up on others. You know the types. You might have even seen it in yourself.  Some have an inability to rise above it.  Feet get stuck in the mud, thicker than dinosaur toes in tar pits.  And it is what it is.  There is no use in trying to sugar coat or cover it up with perfume.  There is nothing worse than stink covered up with cologne.

Many do not mince their situation with gentle words.  A lot can be said about their genuineness.  Acknowledging the situation for what it is — is half of the battle.  An example can be seen in those who struggle with addictions.  The road to recovery involves first being able to see the problem and then being able to scrape up enough motivation to change. The face of substance abuse and dependency is not pretty.  Such a person may indeed be in poor shape and in it very deep.  And the psalm does mention the poor.  Traditionally 12-step programs such as AA  place focus on a higher power to help one deal with an addiction.

I grew up near the famous and sometimes infamous Niagara Falls in New York.  One of the features on the river is a whirlpool called the Devil’s Hole.  A whirlpool is a swirl of current that funnels and sucks one down somewhere underneath the water.  The victim usually drowns and sometimes the body is never found.  As a little kid I used to have nightmares about this hole.  I would fall over the edge and into the gorge below.  This repeated itself many times.  But once I remember dreaming the Hand of God reaching down and pulling me out.  This reminds me a lot of how He can pull us up from the dung heap.

There is a positive side to these currents.  Swirling water can be a source of energy.  Immigrants in the late 1800s helped to build the huge power plant over the Niagara River to harness the rapids.  In some ways dung also can be very useful and essential too.  It is good fertilizer and a truck load can cost a penny and take a lot of effort to unload.  Some really beautiful flowers can emerge out of it.  I also remember learning as a kid that in some cultures especially where wood is very limited, it can be used as a fuel source. Even some versions of the Bible refer to the dung as ash.  It is probable that the ash pile was made up of refuse and a lot of dung. 

The good Lord knows that our own culture is full of crap and I have always thought that if we could just convert all of the trash then we would not be so dependent on oil and in such a crisis for reserves of energy. 

So being caught in deep dung can have its advantages, however unpleasant.  The trials in our lives can be turned into opportunities for growth.  It is a matter of our perspective.  It is saying and seeing it for what it is, and knowing that there can be a Hand out there somewhere to help us.

I wonder if anyone has ever been pulled up from the dung heap by the back of one’s neck?

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Are You Overwhelmed with Busy-ness this Season?

Posted on December 21, 2011 by

It is a tough time of the year in terms of having too much to get done in a very little time frame.  In addition to the responsibilities of daily life, there are also the seasonal demands of preparing for Christmas.  It seems that the celebration has evolved into much more than just sitting around and waiting.  In fact, it can become quite overwhelming trying to juggle shopping, cooking, cleaning, decorating, wrapping, mailing, donating, finishing or preparing for exams, working, partying, catching up with friends and family, and participating in religious services and holy days of obligation.  Thank goodness most of us modern people don’t have to kill and pluck the Christmas goose, but every year tasks seem more and more demanding.  One might wonder if the earth is truly rotating faster.  The reality is that it might be my own head that is spinning.  With all of these tasks at hand, it can seem next to impossible to maintain a prayerful attitude and to focus on the “real reason for the season.”  In fact, in many ways all of this busy-ness seems downright counter-intuitive.  Here are a few suggestions on how to get it all done and survive.

 Prioritize

First of all determine whether getting it all done is even necessary in the first place.  What is essential and what is unnecessary activity?   Some of us might set unrealistic expectations for ourselves.  Is it really important to get those 200+ hand-signed Christmas cards out before December 25?  I do have to say that I have enjoyed reading those greetings that have arrived a few days and even weeks later.  In fact, in the tradition of the Catholic Church Christmas season doesn’t start until Christmas Day.  The days leading up to December 25th are actually Advent.  Traditionally the season ends 40 days later with the Feast of the Presentation which is in February!

On Planning Ahead

Does knowing that Christmas doesn’t really begin until December 25th now spoil any of your efforts to plan ahead?  It is true that the retail stores can have us out and about shopping for Christmas on Halloween.   The office Christmas party might be in November.  Teachers will need gifts before the end of the school term.  And we desire to have something substantial and special to munch on for Christmas Day.  So there is a certain amount of valid frantic activity and less excuse for procrastination.  Some things are necessary.  Even the Blessed Virgin Mary traveled to the hill country in haste (NAB, Luke 1:39) to visit Elizabeth.  This leads to the next point.

Anticipate Changes in Plans

Be flexible.  Even the best formulated plans can be slammed with an unanticipated interruption.  A surprise blizzard can make travel difficult and risky.  People can get the flu.  There could be a census and one gets called to Bethlehem.   Having preconceived ideas about how one’s celebrations “should be”  sets oneself up for disappointment.  Be careful when thinking in terms that contain “but we always…or “what it should be like”.  Accept the situation for what it is even if a party means just you and the cat this year.  Turn change into an opportunity.  This leads to the next point.

Know When to Reach out to Others

Instead of trying to take on the whole Christmas season by oneself, know when and what responsibilities can be delegated to others.  Share cooking parts of a meal.  Do not make dozens of cookies if you plan on eating them all by yourself.   Ask someone to do a favor and return a favor.  Volunteer.  Remember those who cannot get out and are home bound.  The liturgical season is not meant to spend the entire time alone.  Going to services not only gets one out of the house, but also gives one the opportunity to participate in the celebration of this Holy Season.  Remember that the word Christmas is made up of both Christ and Mass.  The highest and foremost is that one can pray and give thanksgiving for this past year and the future.  This leads to another point.

Take Time to Smell the Roses

Even if there are no roses, find some.  Do whatever it takes for you stop in the midst of your busy-ness to meditate, contemplate, and to find focus.  Being able to take time out of the day to pray and being mindful of God can help gain a clearer perspective on your situation.  This may mean simplifying.  It is as basic as remembering that God loves you.  Today’s (December 21) Psalm states:

Our soul waits for the LORD,
who is our help and our shield,
For in him our hearts rejoice;
in his holy name we trust. (NAB, Ps. 33:20-21).

After all we are now in the Season of Advent and we are waiting for God.  Or is God waiting for you?  The final point is:

Practice What You Preach.

Actually I have been so busy that it has taken me until now to write this blog!  And if no one reads this — then I am truly writing to myself! 

God bless you all and take it easy!

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How to Wrap a Package

Posted on December 18, 2011 by

Have you ever noticed that the word, “presentation” contains the word “present?”  From looking at this term one can quickly conclude that in giving a gift we need to make sure that it looks good and is “presentable.”  In psychology there is a term called, “primacy effect” that means an impression made about someone is usually most influenced by the information that is presented first.   This is why most people usually to try to make a good first impression.

In the Christmas Season we are busy covering our gifts with all sorts of colorful wrappings and bows.  Some of our efforts might even be foiled by a frisky pet or snooping kid.  (My children always attributed the ripped edges on packages to our cat).  I know I have spent a lot of time trying to find boxes of various sizes and mailing envelopes.  I remember that it used to be popular to wrap presents with the “funnies section” of the local newspaper.  I have even seen people use scraps of wall paper.  These days it is even fashionable to have the “organic” look.  Some might even try to save a tree and reduce their carbon footprint by recycling gift bags and tissue paper. A friend of mine stated that Christmas would be awesome if we could just give the gift in the store bag it came in!

And there are also the ways that people choose to wrap themselves.  Some may choose to dress very meticulously and others could care less.  Some are ostentatious and others are more modest.   Some people are more extroverted and will tell their whole life story within the first five minutes of meeting.  Others are more reserved and take years to open up and share with others.  Some are tightly wrapped and others are not so tightly wrapped.  

We also know that things are not always what they might appear to be.  Then there is the old saying that it is not so much about the gift itself but it is more about the giver and the act of giving.  Many of us might carry around much on the inside that is unknown by others such as burdens, difficulties, hardships, insecurities and sometimes even grudges.  Sometimes we are not even aware of those things that influence us and bring about the outward actions and appearances that we do.  Some psychologists might say that it is the unconscious at work and the motives of the giver might be buried, unknown and even misinterpreted.

When I think of this Season of Advent, the Giver of the greatest Gift is making known His plan.  We are faced with Sacred Mysteries that are difficult to understand.   But I once again I see in today’s Scripture reading in Romans 16:25-27:

“…the revelation of the mystery kept secret for long ages
but now manifested through the prophetic writings and,
according to the command of the eternal God,
made known to all nations to bring about the obedience of faith,
to the only wise God, through Jesus Christ be glory forever and ever. Amen (NAB)

That package will appear as a little baby in Bethlehem, “the House of Bread.”  Human infants are the most vulnerable creatures, needing the care of parents and guardians to survive.  This little package is much more than what appears on the surface and can be much deeper in our hearts.  And today He is enthroned and wrapped in the Sacramental garment on the altars of the Church.  Faith is a gift from God that we spend our lives unwrapping.

Things are not always what they appear to be.  We know that for sure.  But we must look beyond the wrappings and try to reach much deeper.  To be truly healthy from a psychological standpoint is to be genuine within and without.

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A Little More About Hope

Posted on December 16, 2011 by

If you have not already noticed, I happened to upload an image of downtown Chicago on my blog.  There is a little story behind that picture.  I am fond of it because I took it myself and it was one of those unanticipated occasions to take a really nice picture.  Usually I see something and by the time I am finished fiddling with my camera or I-phone, the window of opportunity has passed.  Like many of my failed attempts at stealing a picture of my kids or getting my cat to pose for me.  But this time I was successful and was able to capture the moment.

It is only a camera phone image but I really like it.  It was not until thinking about my blog that I realized why it seems so special to me.  I took the picture on an afternoon when I was studying for my licensing exam.  It was about an hour after I had felt my building sway after an earthquake that had hit the east coast in Virginia several hundred miles away.  What a strange series of events!  And isn’t that just like life?  That afternoon I happened to look out over the river and I saw the beautiful rainbow emerge over the city.  It was there for as long enough for me to get my camera phone out.

Rainbows remind me of God’s promises, like after the flood in the Bible.  And as such to me seems interesting that a beautiful rainbow appeared on a day when several hundred miles away the earth had been shaking.  And if you have read my previous blog, you probably remember me mentioning those “shaky hills” which had appeared in the Scripture readings yesterday.

“Though the mountains leave their place and the hills be shaken, My love shall never leave you nor my covenant of peace be shaken, says the Lord, who has mercy on you.” (NAB, Isaiah 54:8-10).

What a beautiful promise from God and what a great source of Hope.

I know that there are lots of people right now who are struggling with some very serious issues.  In fact difficulties and crises never come at a good time. No time is ever a good time.  We are too busy trying to live life to have to stop to deal with a problem.  I know that there are those dealing with cancer, broken relationships, unemployment, addiction, financial hardship and many other things.  But in spite that the “hills be shaken”, God’s promises hold true.  I know that no matter what we might be facing, there is a Light that shines in the darkness.  Even as we head into the dead of Winter, the new life is just around the corner if we can just hold out til Spring.  That is like Hope.

When I see this special image, it makes me say, “God bless my city.  God bless the people within it.”  There is hope for all of us.  For some reason, in my heart — I know that God’s promises are true.

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If this is the Season of Joy then Why Do I Feel so Crappy?

Posted on December 15, 2011 by

Most of us have asked ourselves this in the past.  In fact, some might even be asking it now.  With all of the” Ho Ho Ho and Mistle Toe” and “Tis the Season to be Jolly” going on around us, why we do feel out of sorts and just plain miserable inside?  Isn’t it supposed to be the season of giving and spreading good cheer where family and friends gather with all sort of warm fuzzy things going on?  Aren’t we supposed to get that “thing” that we have always wanted?  Aren’t we being pleasantly surprised by the ones who love us the most?

However in the midst of all of the good cheer, some are suffering through some very tough stuff.  Like loss of job, dealing with chronic pain, death of a loved one, loneliness, problems with going in moderation with the spiked eggnog…the list could go on and on as to why someone might not be feeling so well inside (or unrealistically too well!).

Well the reality of the situation is that Advent is the season of Hope and that of waiting for Jesus.  It is kind of like a mini story of our lives, isn’t it? 

“We know that all creation is groaning in labor pains even until now; and not only that, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, we also groan within ourselves as we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies. For in hope we were saved. Now hope that sees for itself is not hope. For who hopes for what one sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait with endurance.” (From NAB, Romans 8:22-25).

Waiting is a joyful thing.  But it is not necessarily a happy or pleasant thing.  It involves longing for something or someone.  And if you have ever waited for something or someone that you really wanted, you know how very much it can be painful.  It can be a state of waiting for relief.  But joy is a spiritual quality and very often coexists as a twin to sorrow.   In fact, a person could be in the midst of severe trials and be filled with great joy.

So our lives may be falling apart around us and the season of Christmas is once again upon us.  As my sister likes to say, “Life is what it is.”  It comes with all of its problems and suffering no matter what is going on.  But this is where Hope comes into place.  Hope is essentially holding on to the possibility that the promises of God are true.  And God gives us some really great promises, like in today’s Scripture readings:

“Though the mountains leave their place and the hills be shaken, my love shall never leave you nor my covenant of peace be shaken, says the LORD, who has mercy on you” (Isaiah 54:10).

You know, I have often thought about those “shaking hills”. 

In my studies of psychology I learned that one factor that is a high predictor of suicide is when a person loses hope.  Unfortunately, many of us rely on our feelings and our perceptions of the moment to determine and measure our hope.  I do have to qualify that there are times in a person’s life when they might be experiencing extreme feelings of sadness even not out of their own fault.  Such can be the result of a biological imbalance or even stress can produce chemicals in the brain which might induce depression.   On the other hand, there can be times when life is just plain crappy and we have to make the best of it.

But the truth of the matter is that hope and true joy comes from being able to embrace our sufferings rather than fleeing from them.  Actually in the Catholic tradition, suffering has significant spiritual value and actually can lead to great sanctity.  Our Savior carried the Cross to give us the example of the path of trials, not sparing even Himself.  This stance is also promoted by the Existential approach to psychology.  In essence, sufferings and difficulties in our lives serve to help us grow and progress along our journey.  So rather than avoiding stress – we should take it face on.  It makes us stronger.  Some of us could be body builders by now!   Think of all of those tough times going to waste!  And most of us don’t have to pray for suffering.  It comes to us naturally.  For me, even something like paying taxes can bring about a state of mortification.

Sounds just like taking up our Cross, doesn’t it?  But isn’t that a Lent message?  Does life with all of its challenges stop because of the time of the year?  It would be nice if it did.   But I recall that St. Joseph and the Blessed Virgin Mary had a ton of problems to deal with before Jesus was even born.  And as Christ is being born in our hearts, is it any different?

Tis the Season of Joy.  It truly is.

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Beginning with a Fiat

Posted on December 13, 2011 by

Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.”  (Luke 1:38)

As I begin my venture into blogging, I thought that I would start by utilizing the Sunday liturgical readings as a weekly anchor and to give structure to my “Catholic Counselor Lady” rantings.  Pleasantly and to my surprise, the Gospel readings for this Sunday December 18, 2011 happen to contain Mary’s Fiat.  Serendipitously, I find no better way to launch this adventure into cyberspace.

Some may be surprised that the Blessed Virgin Mary had a Fiat.  A quick internet search of the term returns sites that feature a classic Italian car – a cute little car that looks like it gets great gas mileage.  But for sure I am no expert on cars and I would not want to start a blog pretending to know anything about such.  In fact, my own vehicle at this moment is in need of servicing.

The Fiat that I begin with has another meaning; one which can be applied to our everyday lives and can take on great psychospiritual significance.  Dictionary.com states that the term fiat is from the Latin phrase, “Let it be done”.  As a noun it is an “authoritative decree, sanction, or order.”

In my studies of clinical psychology I learned that there is a difference between authoritative and authoritarian when it comes to leadership styles and parenting.  I have to admit that in the past, I never really paid attention or realized that the two terms should not be used interchangeably.  The former involves coming from a loving respectful stance and allows the receiver the freedom to take responsibility.  The Authoritative is actually quite ethical operating out of the concept of beneficence (considering the well being of the client).   However, the latter- Authoritarian- infers bossiness, is bent toward selfishness, and has little regard for authority.   The Authoritarian states:  “Do it because I say so or else”.   Understanding the distinction between these concepts is  actually important when looking at Mary’s Fiat.

Mary’s Fiat is the supreme example of submitting ourselves to God’s will.  She demonstrates to us the utmost act of humility.  She responds to God’s authority—authoritative and not authoritarian.  Looking at Mary’s submission to God’s authority tells not only about Mary, but also shows us a lot about God.  God’s will works for the best in us.  God’s will allows for freedom.  God’s will operates out of love.

And where are we now?  Where does our fiat bring us?  Do we feel out of control with our lives?  Or are we confused about what to do?  It is actually a great grace to feel out of control – because it is at that moment that we can give God control.  Or do we feel that we are in complete control and don’t need any help?  As mentioned above, the Blessed Virgin Mary’s Fiat tells us about what it means to submit to God’s will.  Many look at the life of faith as being a set of rules, especially if it means following the 10 Commandments.  Many might feel that if they let God have control of their lives, then that means they have lost something.  But giving up control does not mean giving up responsibility.  In giving control to God, we are actually taking responsibility.  In fact, our authoritative Father God encourages us to take responsibility for our lives. This involves being open to the will of God and responding to His invitation. 

There is so much packed into the Fiat of the Blessed Virgin Mary!  Good thing that it is not that little car because I know what it is like to pack a small vehicle!

 It is with these thoughts that I hope to launch my blog –on the apron strings of Our Lady:  “May it be done to me according to your word.”

Cited

Excerpts from the Lectionary for Mass for Use in the Dioceses of the United States of America, second typical edition © 2001, 1998, 1997, 1986, 1970 Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Inc., Washington, DC from http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/121811.cfm

fiat. (n.d.). Dictionary.com Unabridged. Retrieved December 13, 2011, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/fiat

 

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