Where’s God?

Posted on March 12, 2012 by
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I’ve heard it asked so many times.  Someone experiences a tragedy.  Something terrible has happened.  A person asks, “Where is God?”  Then they spend the rest of their life and/or countless number of years blaming God for what happened to them.  They wonder what the Almighty God was doing when their difficulties hit the fan. 

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

The Book of Job is an example of suffering in the Old Testament.  As a brief summary, Job was a wealthy righteous man who was afflicted when he lost his riches, family, and became covered with sores.  At that time, it was the custom of the people to believe that suffering was given as a punishment from God.  Therefore when a person encountered a tragedy, people would search for what grave sin a person or their family had committed.  But the lesson contained in this Divinely inspired Book of Job is that suffering can happen to the righteous as well as the unrighteous.  In fact, although God doesn’t cause suffering, He can sometimes allow it as a spiritual test and to help strengthen someone.  There is a quote going around on the internet that states:  “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”   My Mom always likes to call it, “The School of Hard Knocks.”

What’s the point?

So if something bad happens what is God trying to do?  Where is God?  Though no one can know the mind of God, sometimes people miss the whole point of why Jesus suffered, died, and was resurrected.  He came to help us through this life–not to contribute to the difficulties.  The crap that we encounter comes naturally as a result of being part of an imperfect world. Suffering and difficulties are the consequence of original sin (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1521).  Sin entered the world when God, out of love, gave mankind choices.  True love involves being able to choose.  We can accept Him or reject Him.  We can do His way or our own way.  It is that simple.  A priest friend of mine once told me “God is not pushy.”  Some have tried to purposefully block God out of their lives, their homes, their communities, and their countries.  So when we ask where is God, we must also ask where we have put Him.

‘Let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice.’  Although man can forget God or reject Him, He never ceases to call every man to seek Him, so as to find life and happiness.  But this search for God demands of many every effort of intellect, sound will, ‘an upright heart,’ as well as the witness of others who teach Him to seek God. (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 30).

The true fact of the matter is that God calls man first (CCC, 2567).  In other words, no matter how long and how hard one has been searching, God has been searching first.

Some of life is a Dark Night of the Soul

People ask:  “I can’t see God, I can’t hear God, I can’t feel God — how do I know that He is here?”  However trite it might sound, this is what faith is all about.  Faith is a gift.  We all have a chance at this gift.  It is not that some get it and others don’t.  It is freely offered to everyone.  Immediately what comes to my mind is that everyone is invited to go to Mass where one can indeed see, hear, and feel God.  One can even “taste and see” through the Eucharist.  This is because Catholics believe that Jesus is really present in the bread and wine which becomes His Body and Blood through the consecration.

In addition to the Sacraments, people can also encounter God through prayer, other people, and in nature.

So where is God?

He was on the Cross.  It is not like God can be bound by time.  But his crucifixion happened for each one of us.  Even through our own individual difficulties, He is there suffering and dying for us.

While to the general public Easter might represent a candy sale at the local department store, the true message is profound and yet simple.  Jesus was crucified, died, and was buried.  On the third day He rose from the dead.  His Resurrection is His victory and our hope.

The above video is of a song entitled, You Were on the Cross,  by Matt Maher from his CD/DVD Alive Again.  This song is particularly appropriate for Lent as we contemplate and meditate on the Passion of Jesus.

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Grumbling in the Wilderness

Posted on March 10, 2012 by

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It is human nature to complain. I dare say we require grace from God not to complain.  When we are wronged or misled, most of us have a tendency to jump onto the opportunity to speak our piece– hence leaving no one around us in peace.  Our grumbling in the wilderness leads credence as to why gossip shows are so popular.

Taking time to smell the roses

But how can one smell roses when these plants naturally don’t grow in the barren desert?  At times life on this earth may appear to be a series of disappointments. Things might not pan out the way we expect.  We might be like the Israelites during the time of Moses:  In those days, in their thirst for water, the people grumbled against Moses, saying, ‘ Why did you ever make us leave Egypt?  Was it just to have us die here of thirst with our children and our livestock?

A lot of our murmurings spring out of impatience.  We want things done by our timing and in our way.  I have often heard some say that they are waiting for their ship to come in, all the while missing out on living life in the present moment.  These same persons later look back and reminisce about “the good old days” that they had overlooked.  As someone who is middle-aged, I can definitely testify that some of the simplest events of my life have become the most joyous memories.   I often wonder what I am failing to notice before it is too late.  

The value of living in the present moment and following the will of God

Jean-Pierre de Caussade in his classic book, Abandonment to Divine Providence speaks of the value of living in the present moment and entrusting ourselves to God:

God, who is all goodness, has made easily available for all the things necessary for life, such as earth, air and water.  And what could be more vital than breathing, eating and sleeping?  And what is easier?  When we turn to spiritual matters, love and loyalty are just as vital, so they cannot be as difficult to acquire as we imagine.  Consider your life, and you will see that it consists of countless trifling actions.  Yet God is quite satisfied with them, for doing them as they should be done is the part we to play in our striving for perfection.  There can be no doubt about this.  Holy Scripture makes it very plain:  ‘Fear God, and keep his commandments, since this is the whole of man’ (Eccles. 12:13).  This is all we have to do.  This is active loyalty.  If we do our part, God will do the rest.  Grace will pour into us and will perform marvels far beyond our understanding, for ‘no eye has seen and no ear has heard things beyond the mind of man, all that God has prepared for those who live him’ (I Cor. 2:9).  To be passively loyal is even easier, since it implies only that we accept what very often we cannot avoid, and endure with love and resignation things which could cause us weariness and disgust.  Once again this is what being holy means.

 Acceptance is key

There is no doubt about it.  Life is tough and in it there are inevitable outcomes.  I remember studying the American poet Robert Frost in high school.  His poem entitled Acceptance summarizes the secret to not only getting by, but thriving in the psychological and even spiritual sense:

Now let the night be dark for all of me.
Let the night be too dark for me to see
Into the future. Let what will be, be.

The existential approach to psychology advocates embracing death and the acceptance of sufferings rather than fleeing from them.  This is not contrary to taking up the Crosses that might come in our lives.  A lot of psychological illness stems from people not being able to accept a situation for what it is.

Righteously discerning what not to accept

There are many things not worth crying about.  I’m not one for an argument.  In fact, I tend to avoid confrontation.  But there are some things that must not be passively accepted.  Even Jesus was known to display anger when he overturned the tables of the moneychangers in the temple area and said,  Take these out of here, and stop making my Father’s house a marketplace (John 2:13-25).  In fact, Jesus used His harshest language in dialogs with the Pharisees. 

Righteous anger is used to vindicate an injustice.  It should not however be used for retribution or revenge.  There is a big difference.  Believers have a right to become upset when their religious liberties are threatened.  Unfortunately this doesn’t only happen in the Biblical times, but even now there are challenges on many fronts.  A current example is the recent Health and Human Services (HHS) health care mandate that forces employers to pay for birth control and drugs that cause abortions. Such a governmental ruling violates one’s ability to follow their moral conscience and teachings of the Church. This recent ruling is not only a threat to the Catholic Church but an affront to every American’s inalienable rights that are spelled out in the Constitution. 

G. K Chesterton in his book, Christendom in Dublin once wrote, Once abolish the God and the government becomes the God.  Chesterton also said that A dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it (In his book The Everlasting Man).

“We Hold These Truths” (as featured above) is a video that was produced by Spirit Juice Studios in order to clearly state the main issue in regards to the (HHS) Health and Human Services Mandate. The main issue is Religious Liberty. The mandate, as it stands right now, violates the Constitution and specifically the 1st Amendment right to the free exercise of our religion without violating our consciences. Every American should see this as an important issue. It is not a Catholic issue. It is an American issue.

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Survival Guide for Life in the Desert

Posted on March 5, 2012 by

A desert can mean many different things to many different people.

(c) 2012 Bernard Eden. The Desert in Arizona

The mention of the word desert can conjure up images of cactus, scorpions, rattlesnakes, and cowboys in the Southwest part of the United States.  It can also mean sand dunes and/or camels.  Some might even think of the Pyramids of Giza.  Others might think of places like Iraq or Afghanistan where many of our loved ones and troops have been sent in recent years.   

Of course, most of us have heard of the story of the Israelites and how they wandered in the desert for 40 years before they came upon the Promise Land.  The New Testament also tells us that Jesus was tempted in the Wilderness for 40 days at the onset of His earthly ministry.  Often I joke that I spent the first years of my own life in the desert before I became Roman Catholic at the age of 40.

Some people might think that life in itself is a desert just short of a type of hell.  One can live a life of material abundance and at the same time experience deep interior void.  They might feel out-of-place and abandoned.   Even a big city full of people can be a very lonely place indeed.  Even very holy persons can experience what St. John of the Cross termed “The Dark Night of the Soul” where one does not seem to be able to perceive the presence of God for extended periods of time in spite of having faith and desire to know God more deeply.

Right now we are in the middle of the season of Lent.  Lent is known as the time of the spiritual desert.

It is in the dry times that we learn to sharpen our survival skills.

The desert can be a time of trial as seen in the above Biblical examples.  It can also be a time of purification.  Learning to do without helps one to appreciate things that might be taken for granted.  I often think of the impact that The Great Depression had on my Grandfather.  As a result, he learned not to waste resources and developed a knack for being able to make just about anything out of whatever material was available.  I remember as a little kid seeing what he could fashion out of cloth, tin cans, wood, string – you name it.  He could saw, sew, mold, pound, weld, or whatever skill it took.

During Lent it is the custom of the Church for believers to practice fasting, prayer, and almsgiving.  This is to sharpen our spirituality while we are in the desert.  Often this is seen as what someone is “giving up for Lent.”  But in reality it is much more than “giving up”  – it is about what we serve to gain in terms of virtue by doing these spiritual exercises. 

In fasting we learn to master our appetites and passions so that they do not go into excess.  In other words, we learn not to go overboard with the good things of life.   Prayer helps us to keep check on our imaginations.  Our minds are easily imprinted with images through our experiences in life.  Triggers can bring up holy or not so holy thoughts.  Basically prayer helps us to create a DVD in our mind of heavenly things.   By contemplating and meditating on God, we can replace any impure thoughts.  Almsgiving  helps us to snuff out any false pride we might have.   It keeps check on over-inflated egos.  True holy pride is learning and knowing how to do God’s will even if we do it imperfectly.  It is about being humble and giving God credit.

Realize that the desert doesn’t last forever.

In psychology, one characteristic of anxiety and panic attack episodes is that they do end.  The problem is that the human mind can easily become tricked into believing that the symptoms endure forever.  Therefore a person usually tries to flee and hide which adds to becoming even more anxious.  In reality, being able to accept anxieties and discomforts for what they are rather than fighting against them is part of the healing process.  This is much like confronting the deserts of our own lives.

Whether or not we can see it, almost all deserts have an oasis or have the capability lead us to more fertile ground.  Even the English word itself is one letter off from being a great pleasure.  With an extra “s” a lifeless “desert” can become a sensational “dessert.”   The Israelites were led to the Promise Land.  Jesus began His earthly ministry.   And we are able to more fully participate in the Passion and Resurrection of Christ.   Life is about waiting, wondering, and wandering most of the time through some sort of desert.  Think about it.

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Forgive Someone?

Posted on February 24, 2012 by

A comment to my prior blog post on “Satisfaction” asked whether if it was possible to forgive but make the decision to never shop at an establishment again.   After thinking about it, I realize that this is really a two-part question.  Instead of giving a short reply to a comment, I decided that this question deserves more elaboration.

Forgiving with God’s Heart

The answer to the first part of the question is that it is always possible to forgive no matter how grave and difficult the situation. This is possible only because of the example that Jesus gives us.  If we attempt with the best of our human intentions, our feelings inevitably get in the way.  As I stated in my last blog, forgiveness is an act of the will.  One makes the decision to forgive in spite of how they feel.  The key to doing this is actually with God’s heart.   A look at the Gospels shows that Jesus put a lot of emphasis on forgiveness.  In fact, often when healing a person physically many times He also said, “Your sins are forgiven”.  The whole point of His dying on the Cross was to atone for sin.  He who was not sin became sin.

It is important to leave the door open when considering forgiveness.  That means the door to our heart.  If we approach the situation with a closed heart, we might miss out on someone’s attempt to reconcile with us.  Also when dealing with persons, often it is a matter of swallowing our pride and taking the first step to repair a relationship.  This is like being a sacrificial lamb.  If efforts are met with rejection, don’t feel defeated but rather pray for the oppressor then go in peace knowing that you have given it your best shot.  Don’t be surprised if by praying you find your heart softening.  That is a healing by-product of prayer.

Lent is all about Repentance

I am a little slow on jumping on the bandwagon to blog about it but this week we observe Ash Wednesday which marks the beginning of the Lenten Season.  And guess what?  Lent is all about repentance and forgiveness.  It is recognizing the necessity of having humility through the act of putting the ashes on our foreheads (from ash you come and ash you return).  The scripture reading from the book of the prophet Joel states:

Even now, says the Lord, return to Me with your whole heart, with fasting, and weeping, and mourning; Rend your hearts, not your garments, and return to the Lord your God.  For gracious and merciful is He, slow to anger, rich in kindness, and relenting in punishment.

God’s example is that He is willing to forgive us (remember the sacrificial lamb?).  He is in the business of changing hearts, especially hard hearts (and some hard heads!).

Should One Return to an Oppressive Situation?

There is not an easy answer to this one because it really depends on the nature of the relationship.  Like I said in my last blog, life is not one shopping spree.  And it is not always a clear-cut to shop or not to shop.  In the case of where personal safety is in jeopardy it is not only highly recommended but prudent not to return.   Examples include that of a woman who is in a physically and/or emotionally abusive relationship with a boyfriend or spouse.  Even the Church does not advocate a person continuing in this sort of situation.  Another example is that of a person struggling with addictions where associating with certain persons may be a trigger for relapse to drug or alcohol use.  As the popular expression goes, some people can become an occasion for sin for us.  In that instance, it is necessary to discontinue association.  But we should still forgive them and especially pray for them.

There are certain relationships that we cannot avoid.  One obvious is that of child/parent.  One of the Commandments is to honor one’s mother and father.  However, on the other hand, if the relationship puts one into physical and emotional danger, then there must be barriers.  It is often these types of dysfunctional relationships that put people into the counselor’s office as they produce a double bind effect.  A person thinks that they should be more loving but feels otherwise.  A person might have certain expectations of what a parent or child should be.  But for the record, it is necessary to put away all expectations and to accept a situation for what it is, and to live in the present moment.  Be forgiving and pray for one another.

I like what Isaiah has to say (43:18-19, 21-22, 24b-25):

Thus says the Lord:  Remember not the events of the past, the things of long ago consider not; see I am doing something new!  Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?  In the desert I make a way, in the wasteland, rivers.  The people I formed for myself, that they might announce my praise.  Yet you did not call upon Me, O Jacob, for you grew weary of Me O Israel.  You burdened me with your crimes.  It is I, I who wipe out, for my own sake, your offenses; your sins I remember no more.

Consequences of Lack of Forgiveness

Obviously there is lack of peace when there is no forgiveness.  From a psychological standpoint, a person who holds a grudge actually puts himself or herself into a type of prison. The chains go around the person needing to forgive.  Sometimes people punish themselves more this way than the perpetrator.   The oppressor may not even know of the suffering! 

Need I mention that lack of forgiveness can harbor all sorts of physical side effects not to mention the emotional and spiritual ones?  It is in one’s own best interest to forgive.

One Last Word

I have often heard clients say, “I have forgiven, but I still have pain about the situation.”  It is normal to still feel pain.  When we have been hurt by any physical means there are often bruises and scars.  The same is with emotional factors.  There are scars.  We may indeed continue to feel pain for a long time.  But this is where we can turn to the Heart of God.  We can rely on the supernatural grace that God gives us to forgive.  We can forgive with the Heart of God.

So the pain doesn’t go away quickly.  It is all the more opportunity to “offer it up” as the Catholic saying goes.  The occasion of suffering can be redemptive.  It is what taking up our Cross is all about.  It has been my experience in the Catholic Church that suffering actually makes any sense.

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Satisfaction

Posted on February 18, 2012 by

Recently,I received the run around at a popular department store in Chicago (not Nordstrom’s!).There has been a longstanding mix up on my store account which has not been easily resolved. In fact, I have attempted to get it fixed on several occasions over the past few months.

To make a long story short instead of being directed to a person in the store, I was put in the corner and put on a phone line. After being put on hold twice, the account was still not remedied.

I left the store feeling extremely frustrated and even emotional. I could not figure out what specifically about the situation that could almost make a grown woman cry. After all, I can do without their inventory of shiny trinkets.

I had received a “gift card” for my birthday from the store. But kicker was that I had to use my store credit card to get the discount. My account had been affected when the store switched over their cards to another system about a year ago. As a result the new card was not properly activated. Thus, I stood with coupons in hand, an account, but with a defunct card. It is pure torture to wave a hefty discount in front of a bargain hunter in the midst of additional storewide sales.

I now know why it is called “Customer Satisfaction.” Because the real reason why I felt so terrible is that I did not receive satisfaction. The whole situation was not my fault. I wanted to be told that it was not my fault! I wanted empathy. I wanted fairness. But instead, I was directed to the corner and to speak to a voice on the phone, literally!

The feelings associated with this scenario made me think about relationships and situations in our lives where we receive the proverbial “run around”. A lot of times what motivates unwillingness to forgive someone is that there has not been any form of remediation or sufficient satisfaction. Promises might have been made that had not been fulfilled, Things might not be according to our expectations, we might experience a sense of entitlement, or even a genuine wrong that might have been done to us.

I left the store saying that I would never shop there again.I had said this before. But, I always end up giving it one more try only to be disappointed over and over again. Some of us avoid certain persons in our lives for similar reasons. We want to avoid getting hurt. We feel that we are owed something.

Too bad life isn’t one big shopping spree. At least with department stores we can get a discount and get account credits. While it is easy to blow off a department store, relationships are more delicate. After I went home and calmed down, I called the establishment once again. This time, someone took the time to listen to my concerns. I felt that I was finally being heard. In addition to that I ended up with a credit to my account for my time and “inconvenience.” Suddenly I was satisfied. Suddenly I even considered going back again.

Some might think not to bother. But some things one can’t put a price on. Some things have worth that can’t be thrown away, no matter how disappointing. While no one should ever give another consent for abuse, especially if it is life threatening, we still have to learn how to forgive if even for our own wellbeing. Scriptures say to forgive 70×7. And most of us know at least one person or situation that has us on number 491 in our book of accounts.

The important thing to remember is that forgiveness is not about how we feel but rather it is an act of the will. Also forgiveness is not about condoning an action or attitude but about being accepting of the perpetrator as a person created in the image and likeness of God. The Lord’s Prayer petitions “forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.”

In this life we are all overdrawn on our accounts in the spiritual life. But God has covered it all. We need only to follow in His example of Divine Mercy.

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My Birthday! A View from Over the Hill

Posted on February 15, 2012 by

 

Sacred Heart of Jesus

Today is my birthday.  It marks for me almost (notice almost) a half of a century.  One could say that this is over the hill.  However, if I live to be 100 then I am approaching the summit.  On the other hand, no one knows where on the hill one might be standing at any particular time.  For some the hill top is in the rear view mirror.  God only knows.

I am the same age as Whitney Houston.  Unfortunately, we all recently learned that she had passed on.  She hit her summit years ago and in recent years she struggled in the valley below due to addictions.  Little did we know how short her life would be.  She was an icon of my generation.  Just like Michael Jackson was.  These very young talented people plucked from the prime of their life.  My kids ask me, why do all of these famous persons die so young?  The truth of the matter is that many celebrities throughout time have died young.  It is their death that draws our attention.  It was even more shocking to learn that my kids had not heard of Whitney Houston; however they recognized her songs.

I do believe that it is true– many of the good die young.  Perhaps this is why I might get a chance to grow old!  I have known some very saintly persons who have died young from cancer, unforeseen accidents, and tragedies.  Some others cut their lives short from hard living and extreme risk taking.  Some live as though they believe in no hell. 

I think that our culture is plagued by substance abuse and addictions.  Although every age has had its own version, our time has even evolved into having “designer drugs.”  It would depend on what camp I subscribed to as to whether or not I viewed such to be a disease or even an attack of the devil.  In some respects, addictions most definitely take on the character of a disease which can affect a person emotionally, physically and even spiritually.  However, I take a step back before I say that a person who has an addiction is an addict.  To give someone a label is pathologizing and even pinning them into a category that takes on a self-fulfilling quality.  I would like to believe that no matter how difficult a situation might be, a person can overcome through the help of God.

Today, February 15, is the Feast Day of St. Claude de la Columbiere.  What makes this saint particularly interesting is that he was the spiritual director of St. Margaret Mary, the founder of the devotion of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.  I have had the opportunity to visit Paray-le-Monial , the town in France from where these two great Saints came.   This is particularly relevant to my above point.  Devotion to the Sacred Heart is precisely the message that no matter how difficult our lives might be, the love of Jesus can overcome.  This devotion is for all people of our time who are afflicted by the challenges of modern life.  Our time is plagued on so many fronts.

The refrain from the Psalm 15 in today’s Mass states:  Who shall live on Your Holy Mountain, O Lord?  I am for mountain tops.  Not so much for going over the hill and hanging out in the valleys.  However, all of us most definitely will find the valley.  The older I get the more I believe that the aging process is God’s last ditch effort to help one become more humble!  What can make a person more humble than losing one’s school girl figure, increasingly aching joints, and obtaining a forgetful brain?   It is all the more opportunity to join these sufferings to those of Jesus on the Cross. So as I age and reach for another ibuprofen, hopefully I will learn to become humble once and for all.

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Remember the Sick and Healthcare Workers

Posted on February 10, 2012 by

(c) 2012 - Catholic Counselor Lady. In Lourdes, France

Saturday February 11 is the Feast Day of Our Lady of Lourdes.  The Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes marks the observance of the World Day of the Sick.  This celebration is a reminder to pray for the sick and to recognize all those who work in health care and serve as caregivers.

February 11 is the anniversary of the first apparition of the Blessed Virgin Mary to St. Bernadette in a little grotto in the Pyrenees Mountains of France in 1858.  At that time, no one understood how and why the Blessed Virgin Mary would appear to a 14-year-old uneducated shepherdess.  However, the Blessed Virgin Mary ended up appearing to St. Bernadette 18 times.  Thousands of people witnessed the apparitions where many healings and miracles occurred.

At one time the Blessed Virgin Mary told St. Bernadette to bathe and drink from an unknown spring which was hidden under the ground.  At first Bernadette dug into the dirt and ended up being ridiculed as she became covered in mud.  However, eventually the water started to run clear.  Since that time the spring has been continually flowing.  On the Feast of the Annunciation, The Blessed Virgin Mary announced her name to St. Bernadette:  “I am the Immaculate Conception.”  These events led to the veneration of Mary in Lourdes which has become a place of prayer, pilgrimage, conversion, and healing. The apparitions at Lourdes have been approved by the Catholic Church as private revelations in which devotion to them is up to the believer. Many documented healings continue to occur even to this day which confirm this to be a very holy place.

My family and I have had the opportunity to visit Lourdes, France twice.  The first was on a pilgrimage to France in 2004.  The second was before I started my studies in clinical psychology in 2008 which was the 150th anniversary of the apparitions.  The grounds consist of the sanctuary of the holy grotto as well as huge beautiful above ground and underground Churches.  What particularly fascinated me were the Eucharistic and candle light Marian processions.  In addition extremely beautiful chants and prayers were broadcast out into the court yards and gardens throughout the day as one walked around.  The area also has a hill in which one can climb and observe the stations of the Cross. The campus at Lourdes is populated with the sick in wheelchairs, on stretchers, with crutches, and on foot.  Many come to drink and bathe in the miraculous spring water.  I had the opportunity to bathe in the water myself in 2004.

I remember the water being very cold as wet towels were slung across my bare back before I descended into carved out rock tubs into which the water was channeled.  In spite of its frigidity, this experience brought my mind to Jesus at the pillar.  It was a very joyous experience.  I offered my slight inconvenience for those sick around me.  My second pilgrimage was to dedicate and offer my studies and future work in psychology.  I hope to one day be able to go back and volunteer at their counseling clinics, even if just for a couple of weeks.  Please pray that I get to see that dream and for my future employment situation.

The Office of Readings has a very beautiful reading about our call to help the sick from a sermon by Blessed Isaac of Stella:

Why, brothers, are we so little concerned to seek one another’s well-being so that where we see a greater need, we might show a greater readiness to help and carry one another’s burdens?  For this is what the blessed Apostle Paul urges us to do in the words: “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ;” and also: “Support each other in charity.”  For this surely is the law of Christ…Why can I not patiently bear the weaknesses I see in my brother which either out of necessity or because of physical or moral weakness, cannot be corrected?  And why can I not instead generously offer him consolation…This is indeed the law of Christ who truly “bore our weaknesses” in His passion and carried our sorrows out of pity, loving those he carried and carrying those He loved…

Our Lady of Lourdes, pray for us.

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A Saint for the Abandoned and Marginalized

Posted on February 8, 2012 by

Today (February 8) is the feast day of a lesser known saint.  St. Jerome Emiliani, from Venice, lived in the early 1500s.  He is a pioneer of social justice and the patron of abandoned people and orphans. St. Jerome had begun life as a careless youth with no regard for God.  However, after being imprisoned he underwent a profound conversion, lost his chains, and founded the Order of Somaschans.  He then went on to dedicate his life to helping orphans, the infirmed, and prostitutes.  He worked to create safe havens for marginalized people.

His time period was noted for lack of morality, famine, and plague.  An anonymous biographer described the condition of the day:

…therefore, as everyone knows about and remembers with sorrow, in 1528 a famine so big occurred in Italy and Europe that in towns, cities and villages thousands of people died of starvation. There was such a shortage of grain that little of it was to be found, and that at intolerably high prices. The poor people were compelled by hunger to eat dogs and donkeys, then grass, but not from their gardens or cultivated fields. On the account of the bad times, there were no gardens; therefore, they ate wild grasses, and these without oil and salt, because they did not have any. But, what do I say, grass? In many places stale hay and straw from the thatched roofs were finely chopped and attempted to eat (somascans.org).

The poor people literally flooded the streets of Venice in search of food and help.  St. Jerome’s life was spent helping them in their plight. He actually contracted the plague himself and died in 1537.

Last night I happened to watch an episode of a new show on National Geographic called Doomsday Preppers.   One guy actually spoke about learning to eat grass along the highways and beneath underpasses of the city. Part of his emergency kit was a bottle of salad dressing for his weeds!  A criticism was that such grasses would become scarce in the time of a disaster.  Interestingly this way of surviving has been tried in history as we can see from the above passage!  There is truly nothing new under the sun!

I actually had not known of St. Jerome of Emiliani prior to today but am intrigued by reading information on the Somascans.  Interestingly they note keeping a vigil over the tongue and heart so as to not sin.  A suggestion at the way to do such a thing is to live in the presence of God:

Life in the Presence of God…there should be no moment in which with our interior sight we do not see Him present as a witness and a judge of our deeds, words and thoughts. Nothing is, in fact, more effective than this commendable memory of the divine presence if we want to avoid evil and reach perfection. (Obtained from “Suggestions for an interior life and spiritual progress” at somascans.org).

My take on this is remembering reading from other Saints such as St. Teresa of Avila who contemplated the face of Jesus and would mystically envision Our Lord’s face saddened by her sins.  Having the constant remembrance of Jesus watching and gazing into His face helps one to grow in the spiritual life.  The Practice of the Presence of God, on the teachings of Brother Lawrence of the Resurrection, a 17th Century Carmelite monk, is another great spiritual classic that witnesses to how one can pray without ceasing and live in the presence of God.  It is a short read and one of my favorites.  In fact, I think that I might crack the little book open for another round!

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The Blooming Red Onion

Posted on February 6, 2012 by

Washburn Presbyterian Church, Scranton about 1898.

Just recently I ran across some more information about my “Red Onion Saloon” branch of the family.  Minnie Mae, a saloon proprietor, was the daughter of my great great grandmother Arabella Edgar Wallace (Aston).  Arabella went by the name of “Belle” as this variation appears in some of the census records.  I have also seen the unusual designation of Orabelle. My great grandmother, her daughter, was named Jennie Belle.

Arabella was the first wife of my great great Grandfather Samuel John Aston (Wallace). Samuel was a paper ruler and bookbinder for the Scranton Republican in the late 1800s.  He was born in Wales.  He actually went by two different last names.  Wallace was the surname of his stepfather and Aston was his birth name.  From what I can determine, Arabella went by the surname Wallace all of her married life.

I do not know a lot about Arabella.  I do know that she was born in Pennsylvania.  Her father, Daniel Edgar (my great, great, great grandfather!), might have been a train conductor or an engineer with the railroad.

I found a death announcement that stated she had died at the age of 42 after a three-month illness.  She had left a husband and seven children – one was great Aunt Minnie Mae and another was my great grandmother Jennie Belle.

At this point, I do not know the exact cause of death, but on the surface it looks like a terrible family tragedy.  Back in those days it was not uncommon for people to die young.  I do know that after her death, many of the children were scattered.  At least one might have even ended up in the poor house in Binghamton.  My great grandmother Jennie became a hired domestic servant for a while.  My great great grandfather Samuel remarried.   All of the children from Samuel’s second marriage died in infancy.

Just this week I stumbled upon a notation in the Hyde Park Presbyterian Church records of 1897 (also known as Washburn Presbyterian).  It stated that Arabella Wallace, “had made a profession of faith and was baptized on her sick bed.”

I read this note with great enthusiasm and joy.  In it I found a blossom of faith and even perhaps a family saint.  It makes me think deeply about the life journey of this poor young woman of long ago.  Without a doubt, her sick bed must have been surrounded by family members, church goers, and friends.  Their tears and prayers must have been for the preservation of her life.  On the surface, it might have seemed that their prayers went unanswered as she slipped away from this life as a young woman.  But I think the contrary.

Incidentally, in today’s Gospel (Feb. 6)  we hear of Jesus healing the sick:  Whatever villages or towns or countryside He entered, they laid the sick in the marketplace and begged Him that they might touch only the tassel on his cloak; and as many as touched it were healed (Mark 6:56).

It could be that Arabella was healed in the most profound and thorough way.  She had been made ready for her passage into the fullness of life in heaven with God.  Perhaps even those left praying for her were in greater need of a physician!  Family members left behind had lifetimes ahead of them full of extreme trials they had yet to endure.  The newly built Victorian structure of Washburn Presbyterian Church was yet to be dedicated in 1898 only to be completely destroyed by fire in 1914.  The building will be rebuilt twice to become the building that now stands in Scranton today.

It makes me also think, that even though we are across generations those of us here today can pray for those old timers. Also you may never know who may be out there looking down from heaven and praying for us “modern people”! 

You get a feel for what the Communion of the Saints is like!  There is a certain transcendence across time!  Cool!

 

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What Happens at the Red Onion Saloon– Stays at the Red Onion Saloon

Posted on February 5, 2012 by

My Grandma Pearl and I in 1967

As many of you know, genealogy is one of my hobbies.  I enjoy researching and digging up stories on ancestors and distant relations long gone.  It is interesting to learn about the saints and the rascals of my blood line.  It is much like detective work and goes very slowly.  But once in a while a new tid bit of information emerges.  It is like putting together pieces of a huge puzzle. 

Recently, I discovered that an Aunt of my maternal Grandmother Pearl once owned a saloon.  This was in the late 1800s and early 1900s before Prohibition.  Actually it was Great Auntie Minnie Mae’s husband who was the proprietor of the Red Onion Saloon somewhere near Scranton, Pennsylvania.

I never had much of an interest in Scranton until I discovered that my Grandmother Pearl had a strong genetic connection there.  Years ago I drove through the town on a road trip.  I remember making fun of the place’s pronunciation.  A lot of jokes fly at the thought of this place, especially now in the context of the popular TV show, The Office.  I am discovering that a lot of Americans have longstanding ties to the older cities of the East.  Many of these places now stand boarded up and abandoned with hints of grand architecture of a bygone era.

When I was a little kid, once in a while my grandmother spoke of what she referred to as her Pennsylvania Dutch ties.  But she gave very few details and I didn’t pay attention.  She was a very modest and reserved person and tended to be very secretive especially about family matters.  As a result, we know very little of my grandmother’s background.  When I would pry, she would answer, “You never mind.”  This only perked my curiosity all the more.

So recently upon finding Auntie Minnie Mae in some old federal census records I discovered that her husband was listed as the proprietor of a billiard room and hotel.  It was only through searching old newspapers that I discovered it was actually named “The Red Onion Saloon.”

One can imagine the images that this conjures up in my brain.  I see old Auntie dressed with her petticoat and laced up corsets slinging cold beers in dirty glasses across an old wooden bar stool.  The reality of the matter is that she was probably back in the kitchen stoking a cast iron wood burning stove making hot plates for the daily special or wash boarding sheets and changing bed linens for house guests. But whatever really happened at the Red Onion Saloon, no one this day really knows.  A google search of the term shows that there was such an establishment with the same name in Skagway, Alaska which was once a house of ill-repute. Ironically the place in Alaska is now a tourist attraction and on the National Register of Historic Places. As far as I can determine, The Red Onion Saloon in Scranton is no longer in existence.

I did find an article where Uncle was run out of town and later settled in Pottsville, PA.  His obituary appears several years later and states that he died  “from a short illness of acute pneumonia .  He was a prominent hotel proprietor, a former Councilman, volunteer fireman, and a leader in fraternal societies” (August 8, 1915 issue of Philadelphia Inquirer).  It actually sounds like a very nice sort of eulogy.  He was only 38 years old.  Aunt Minnie Mae was a young widow with at least three children.  We don’t know if she had a broken heart.  I have yet to determine if she ever remarried.  I have no idea of what became of her three children.

Grandma never spoke of the Red Onion connection.  It could be that she never knew about it either.  Like I mentioned earlier, her family members tended to be very secretive.

This Sunday (February 5) Job states: “Is not man’s life on earth a drudgery?  Are not his days those of hirelings?”  I cannot help but continue to wonder about what might have been going on in poor old Aunt Minnie Mae’s life.  Running a saloon could not have been easy work and even could have been downright disreputable.  I noticed that she maintained ownership for several years after her husband’s death.  It could have been that she was doing the best she could in order to survive.  There was no social security back then.  As they say in the South, “Bless her heart.”

A lot of times when I go to Mass, I think about many of these old timers.  Sometimes they even pop into my mind out of the blue.  I take these opportunities to pray for them.  You never know.

Stay tuned as I continue my quest unearth a family saint! (Laugh out loud!)

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