Nine Impossible Causes and a Saint to Overcome Them

Posted on May 21, 2012 by

The incorrupt body of St. Rita (obtained from Catholicapologetics.info)

In this life, many of us face impossible situations that appear hopeless. Such things can lead to desperation, depression, and even thoughts of giving up. A person may perceive that there is no relief in sight. Such might be thought of as a lost cause. However, in the tradition of St. Rita, there is help for situations that might seem impossible.

May 22 is the observance of the Feast Day of St. Rita of Cascia, otherwise known as a saint for impossible causes and desperate cases. She lived from 1381 to 1457. She endured many things that otherwise seem quite impossible to most of us. 

1.  Domestic violence

At twelve years old, St. Rita endured an arranged marriage to a wealthy and violent man named Mancini.  Her young adulthood was characterized with physical and emotional trauma. He had frequent anger outbursts and she was mistreated and abused for nearly 20 years. Mancini was described as a corrupt person and was despised by the community. He made a lot of enemies. For these reasons abused women traditionally sought out the intercession of St. Rita.   

2.  Unfaithful spouse 

St. Rita dealt with years of infidelities from her husband. However she counteracted this with patience, love, humility, and kindness. After much prayer, fasting, and frequenting the Sacraments, St. Rita experienced a changed husband. Mancini repented of his ways and asked for her forgiveness. Her home then became a haven for peace, but unfortunately this lasted for only a short time.

3.  Loss of spouse

Due to his violent past, Mancini’s life was cut short when he was stabbed to death by enemies.This occurred right after his conversion. St. Rita became a widow at a young age with two children.

4.  Loss of children

Her two young sons became enraged with the murder of their father and vowed to carry out revenge once they became young men. St. Rita discouraged this for fear that they would lose their souls. She prayed to God for an end to the violence. Both her sons ended up contracting disease and died in a state of grace before they were able to carry out their Vendetta against their father’s slayers.

5. Thwarting of life goals

St. Rita wanted to enter a convent during her youth, but her parents discouraged it and had arranged her marriage at a young age. Once she was widowed, she applied to the convent but was rejected. The nuns at the monastery were afraid to be associated with her due to the scandal caused by the murder of her husband.  She persisted in her application and eventually they let her stay. It is claimed that she was miraculously aided by Saints John the Baptist, Augustine, and Nicholas of Tolentino to enter the locked and bolted convent at night.  She ended up living out her life by the Augustinian Rule in Cascia, Italy. 

6. A wound that would not heal

She contracted an open wound on her forehead that festered and produced a stench which made it difficult for others to be near her. She likened this to a thorn that had inflicted the head of Christ. It is reported that after her death the sore emitted a smell comparable to roses. This is why prayer cards and images of St. Rita are often depicted with a wound in the middle of her forehead. She is also shown with a rose which represents her ability to intercede on behalf of lost causes.

7. Infertility

During her early years at the convent, a superior wanted to test St. Rita’s obedience and required that she plant an apparently dead piece of wood. St. Rita was ordered to water and tend to this stick on a regular basis. Eventually the twig grew into a grape vine which bore fruit. The centuries old plant is reported to still be on the grounds of the convent today. Its leaves are crushed into a powder and given to the sick around the world. It is an example of her help to lost causes.

8. Bee stings

St. Rita is also associated with bees.The day after her baptism, white bees swarmed around her face while she was in her baby crib. These insects went into her mouth without causing her any harm. Some believe that these bees foreshadowed her beatification by Pope Urban VIII whose family coat of arms featured the bee.

9. Physical decay

The body of St. Rita is noted to remain incorrupt.This means that her flesh is still intact after centuries even though her body wasn’t  properly entombed nor preserved. When her crypt was first opened for her beatification after 150 years, her skin was still its natural color. A church in Cascia, built in her honor in 1945, became a basilica in 1955.  Her body, which is only slightly discolored, can still be viewed by pilgrims in a glass case at the basilica.  Some say that her eyes have opened and closed on their own and that her body shifts from time to time.

Her bizarre circumstances still make her a saint for modern day

It is never advocated that a person stay in a violent and dangerous situation, however the example of St. Rita is a testimony to the power of prayer, fasting, and the Sacraments when seeking help with situations that appear to be unbearable.Throughout all of her challenges she remained diligent, humble, and faithful. She endured some issues that were cultural specific, such as being forced into marriage at a young age, however her challenges are not quite unlike what some people have to deal with today.

Prayer to St. Rita

Dear Rita, model Wife and Widow, you yourself suffered in a long illness showing patience out
of love for God. Teach us to pray as you did. Many invoke you for help, full of confidence in your
intercession. Deign to come now to our aid for the relief and cure of [name of sufferer]. To God, all
things are possible; may this healing give glory to the Lord.

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Once in a 100 years Tight Rope Walk over Niagara Falls Soon

Posted on May 17, 2012 by

Old Fashioned Tight Rope Act over Niagara Falls. Photo obtained from Niagara Parks website.

Niagara is getting excited. 

The first man to walk a high wire over Niagara Falls in 100 years is scheduled to do his stunt on June 15, 2012.  He will walk across on a giant 2-inch cable that is attached to two cranes –one side in the USA and the other side in Canada. Thirty-three year old Nik Wallenda, a 7th generation stunt performer, will attempt this feat.This is a guy who has been on tight ropes since two years old. He recently hung from a helicopter by his jaw and has walked on the outside of a Ferris wheel in motion. From what I hear, Wallenda has been practicing his walk for the public in front of the Casino in Niagara Falls, NY.My family members and friends have been gathering to see him.

History of Niagara daredevils

The first man ever to cross over The Falls on a high wire was daredevil Jean Francois Gravelet, otherwise known as “The Great Blondin” on June 30, 1859. He walked carrying a large pole.This was to be the first of many crossings for Blondin. Sources vary in the number of actual crossings ranging from 8 to 21. He was quite a performer in that his act often included somersaults, wheelbarrows, cooking an omelette, carrying his manager, and head stands.There have been numerous attempts of performers over The Falls since the 1800s.  Some of them have been successful and others have resulted in death. One of the most famous survivors was a 63-year-old school teacher named Annie Taylor who went over in a barrel in 1901. She is buried in the same cemetery as my Walker great grandparents.  

No one has legally attempted a stunt over the last 100 years due to the fact that this has been outlawed by both the United States and Canada. Recently the Niagara Parks Commission has ruled to allow proposals of stunting professionals once every 20 years. This is “In recognition of the role that daredevil performances have played in the rich history and promotion of Niagara Falls. “(obtained from Niagara Parks Commission website).  According to an article today in the Niagara Gazette, the Niagara Falls City council is voting on an amendment to allow vendors to purchase a special license for the event which is expected to bring in millions of dollars. This could be a big boost in tourism for the American side of The Falls, which has suffered from economic hard times over the last generation.

Everyone is trying to get into the act.

Did I ever mention that I was born in Niagara Falls, NY?  Many times I have been asked, “In a barrel?” As a kid, my bus travelled along the Niagara River on my way to school. Don’t even remind me of my nightmares of the Devil’s Hole whirlpool. I remember my grandmother taking me in her old station wagon to pick up my grandfather from work at Union Carbide downtown. This route often involved going up on the Robert Moses Parkway. I remember having a field trip to the Niagara Mohawk power plant that harnessed electricity from the rapids over The Falls.  Those who have frequented my blog thus far know that often I have mentioned this land of my roots, both on the American and Canadian sides.

What does this mean from a Catholic Counselor Lady point of view?

It is exciting to think about this old-fashioned high wire act across Niagara Falls (by the way, to the locals, it is called “The Falls”). It has an almost romantic appeal to the antics of the old days. Yet life in itself can be full of mental high wire acts for many of us. Sometimes we might find ourselves balancing various aspects of our lives. I know that being a mother, a wife, and a professional requires ability to balance responsibilities of each. At times this can appear to be extremely difficult and overwhelming.  How many times are we close to losing our grip? How many times do we wobble?  How many times do we not even try due to the risks?

Sometimes we balance relationships. There are also those who have struggles with issues, challenges, and difficulties of their lives. This may be due to a variety of circumstances such as overcoming addictions, abuse, emotional distress, past trauma, illness, and/or just trying to cope with everyday life. Such can indeed feel like a high wire balancing act with the rapids raging below.

A high wire walk over Niagara Falls is risky. So is life. But obviously some circumstances take on a greater degree of risk. An article appearing in the May 17, 2012 issue of The Niagara Falls Gazette asks, “Is he afraid?”  Nik Wallenda answers, “I’m just doing my job.” We would expect such an answer from those of us who might live an “average sort of life” not from a daredevil.  But truthfully does anyone have an “average” life?  We all have to be brave sometimes.

The Gazette article also addressed whether or not he prays. Wallenda answered, “Very much so – I pray without ceasing.”  I was happy to notice in a recent photo posted by a friend on Facebook that he was wearing a crucifix.

Great advice from someone who lives life dangerously!

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Six instead of Ten Commandments?

Posted on May 16, 2012 by

Pope Benedict XV picture obtained from Wikipedia

The other night I had a dream that I was at a coffee shop and a man dressed like a pope sat in the seat across from me. He told me that he wanted to be my friend. “Who are you?” I asked.  He replied that he was Pope Benedict XV. I was very happy but perplexed at this strange encounter.

Dreams can be the result of indigestion or repressed anxieties. In my case, it could have been from the NyQuil that I took to alleviate a runny nose and persistent sore throat. Mystical or not, this dream perked my curiosity. So I did a little research. I was delighted with what I discovered.

 Why Benedict?

I originally failed to notice why the current Holy Father chose to carry forth the name of “Benedict.” It is the custom of a pontiff to pick a name of a predecessor who represents their spiritual ideas and mission. Joseph Ratzinger, elected Pope Benedict XVI, told the world in April 2005: I wish to speak of why I chose the name Benedict. Firstly, I remember Pope Benedict XV, that courageous prophet of peace, who guided the Church through turbulent times of war. In his footsteps I place my ministry in the service of reconciliation and harmony between peoples (obtained from Wikipedia).

 A Pope who represents peace

Pope Benedict XV reigned during World War I from 1914 to 1922. The guy named Giacomo della Chiesa at birth was described as being a very small and frail in stature.The person in my dream looked very large, perhaps because of his big ideas. I was surprised to discover that he is quoted to be one of the least remembered popes of the 20th Century.  But I know that in the upside down Kingdom of Christ, lacking human popularity does not mean less favor with God.

One of the first things that he tried to do as Pope was to appeal for peace and the end of World War I which he called the suicide of central Europe. Throughout this, he maintained strict neutrality. Early on he called for a truce at Christmas. His efforts, which came to be known as the Papal Peace Note, were met with sharp criticism and resistance. Benedict was not included in the peace talks at the conclusion of the war. However, one of his major opponents, Woodrow Wilson ended up incorporating some of Benedict XV’s ideas in the League of Nations.

 A Pope who stands for strong devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary

 Pope Benedict XV promoted veneration of the Blessed Virgin Mary. During World War I, he entrusted the world under her care and added the designation “Queen of Peace” to the Litany of Loreto. In response to the suffering and carnage of the ensuing war, on May 5, 1917 he pleaded to the world to have recourse to the Heart of Jesus through the mediation of Mary. Eight days later the apparitions began at Fatima.

He was a proponent of the Marian devotion as proposed by St. Louis Marie de Montfort and promoted devotion to Our Lady of Lourdes. The case for Mary being a Co-Redemptrix is addressed in his Apostolic Letter Inter Soldalica:

As the Blessed Virgin Mary does not seem to participate in the public life of Jesus Christ, and then, suddenly appears at the stations of his cross, she is not there without divine intention. She suffers with her suffering and dying son, almost as if she would have died herself. For the salvation of mankind, she gave up her rights as the mother of her son and sacrificed him for the reconciliation of divine justice, as far as she was permitted to do. Therefore, one can say, she redeemed with Christ the human race (issued 22 March 1918, obtained from Wikipedia).

A Pope not in favor of relativism

Pope Benedict XV coined the term “Dictatorial Relativism.” Relativism basically holds that there is no objective truth and that anything goes. I see relativism as the most dangerous threat to the Christian faith.  Cardinal Ratzinger, now Pope Benedict XVI, in carrying out the ideas of his namesake predecessor stated:  “Having a clear faith, based on the creed of the church, is often labeled today as a fundamentalism… Whereas relativism, which is letting oneself be tossed and swept along by every wind of teaching, looks like the only attitude acceptable to today’s standards. We are moving toward a dictatorship of relativism which does not recognize anything as for certain and which has as its highest goal one’s own ego and one’s own desires.” (obtained from ctv.ca). 

Relativism according to the essay, “In Defense of Discrimination” by Alice Von Hildebrand states:  The individual subject is the “measure of all things” (Protagoras)…Truth, moral values, beauty are empty words; what matters is what the individual accepts as true, what he calls morally good, what he likes. It is up to the all-important “me.”

Do we need examples of this happening? Just today I saw an article where a federal judge in Virginia asks if the 10 commandments can be reduced from ten to six. His suggestion is:  “Remove the first four commandments, which are clearly religious in nature, and leave the remaining six, which make more secular commands, such as do not kill or steal.” (Obtained from Roanoke Times, May 8, 2012).

What does Benedict mean for us today?

Having a guy like Pope Benedict XV among our repertoire of friends is not such a bad idea especially in light of all of the difficulties and challenges we face in this modern-day. We are still waging war to various degrees throughout the world both physically and spiritually on the home front and abroad.  Ideas such as maintaining peace through the storm, having devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary, and remembering that we have been given a standard for Absolute Truth, are important weapons in our battle.

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Today is the Luckiest Day of the Year!

Posted on May 14, 2012 by

St. Matthias (obtained from Wikipedia)

By tradition today is considered the luckiest day of the year! This is because May 14 is designated as the feast of St. Matthias. He was chosen by the remaining eleven apostles to replace Judas Iscariot who had betrayed Jesus.  Although he had not been among the original personally picked out by Jesus during His earthly ministry, St. Matthias had tagged along with the group the entire time beginning with Christ’s Baptism and even witnessed His Resurrection. What was unique is that St. Matthias ended up being chosen by lot:

Therefore, it is necessary that one of the men
who accompanied us the whole time
the Lord Jesus came and went among us,
beginning from the baptism of John
until the day on which he was taken up from us,
become with us a witness to his resurrection.”
So they proposed two, Joseph called Barsabbas,
who was also known as Justus, and Matthias.
Then they prayed,
“You, Lord, who know the hearts of all,
show which one of these two you have chosen
to take the place in this apostolic ministry
from which Judas turned away to go to his own place.”
Then they gave lots to them, and the lot fell upon Matthias,
and he was counted with the Eleven Apostles. (Acts 1:21-26).

In other words, St. Peter did an eenie, meenie, miney, moe!  It is kind of like praying for God’s will, then closing one’s eyes, and putting one’s finger on a page in the Bible. It is important to note that the Apostles prayed first for God’s will. This is much different from only picking someone by lot. What can be gleaned from this is when faced with a choice we must do it prayerfully, in spite of the discernment method used. Even if we make a mistake, God’s will can be done if we earnestly seek Him.  

Many people are paralyzed from making choices for fear of making the wrong one. Such is often the source of procrastination. Some delay by stating that they are waiting for discernment and put off making important decisions in such a manner. But if we prayerfully do the best that we can with what we are given, still God’s will can be done!  Remember, He’s in the business of helping us through our blindness.

Clement of Alexandria quoted that St. Matthias was chosen not because of whom he was, but because of whom Jesus saw he could become: Not that they became apostles through being chosen for some distinguished peculiarity of nature, since also Judas was chosen along with them. But they were capable of becoming apostles on being chosen by Him who foresees even ultimate issues.

The Church originally had the feast of St. Matthias on February 24. However it was transferred to May 14 in 1969 so as to be closer to the Feast of the Ascension instead of being observed in Lent. It is not surprising that St. Matthias is also the patron of those struggling with alcoholism and gambling.  Also this saint is helpful for those who are being interviewed for a position or hoping to obtain a promotion at work.

I don’t believe in luck. If I happen to say, “good luck,” or “break a leg” it is by only habit. My culture tends to have many such phrases. Don’t get me wrong, I wish you well, but what  I really want and mean to say is “God be with You” or “God’s Will be done.”

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Here, Here, O Israel!

Posted on May 12, 2012 by

Map of England and Wales (red). Obtained from Wikipedia.

Genealogy breakthrough.

This has been quite a busy week for genealogy breakthroughs for me! I happened to obtain the death certificate of my great great grandfather Samuel Aston who had been born in Wales and died in Scranton, PA.To my surprise, his mother’s maiden name was listed on the document.This has been a buried secret for quite a while.

I began researching my family history about four years ago.This was after I had learned about genograms in a psychology class. At that time I knew nothing about any of my great grandparents and their family trees. Four years later, I can see that they happen to span the globe both here and abroad. Originally, I didn’t even know their names. And now this week, I held in my hands a certificate with the big reveal in terms of connecting to my Welch roots:  On my maternal side, my great great great grandmother’s maiden name was “ISRAEL.”

Knowing just about next to nothing about the history of Wales, my computer and I swung into overdrive. I quickly discovered a family tree at ancestry.com that had a line of “Israels” that looked similar the information on the Astons I have been accumulating. An e-mail and a day later, I was in contact with a lady, a distant cousin, who has also been researching the Aston family and knows something about my great great great grandmother “Anne Israel.”   In fact, she has been searching for her.

Her maiden last name was Israel.

“Israel.” My mind quickly went to the thought, “Jewish?” 

Bible verses such as Isaiah 43:1 started flowing through my head: But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, and formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name: you are mine.

I also thought about what a neat coincidence that I was given the middle name of Rae, myself.  And always thought that my maiden name was one letter off from containing Israel in the middle of it: NatalIERAELane.  Although the Rae actually comes from my paternal grandfather Raymond. The meaning of the name Rae,“little lamb”, is special to me. It is a comforting image in the context of the Great Shepherd.

The Daddy of them all.

So I was actually hoping for an Old Testament Hebrew connection. However, according to my Welch distant cousin: “The Israel’s were members of The Welsh Chapel and as they were Nonconformists it was quite common for the father to give his forename to his children to use as their surname, hence the birth of the Israel surname in this family tree.”   This was a practice known as Patronymics.This was done as a form of rebellion against the Church of England.

So the Daddy of them all had the first name “Israel”. This is still quite interesting to me, because quite literally my family members and I all became “Children of Israel!”  But she added that she was only able to trace back to the 1700s with this name and has been searching for the last 10 years.  I found on another website that this Israel family may have originated in Russia before they came to Wales. So my computer will be surfing over the next few years to learn more about this Welch Chapel and the Nonconformists.

Welsh Roman Catholics!

But serendipitously as I looked over my Welch distant cousin’s genealogy in search of Jewish roots, immediately I was captivated by another research discovery: The Astons were actually Roman Catholic!  According to my foreign cousin, “They were Roman Catholics and the children I have christening records for were all christened at RC churches”. That possibly includes my great great grandfather Samuel Aston, siblings, and his father from what I can determine so far. These are sweet words to a Roman Catholic convert!  I read from another source that only 5% of the Welch population is actually Catholic today.

Genealogy is healing.

I cannot say that these long gone family members were saints or sinners. In the words of my cousin across the big pond, “some of them were a dodgy sort.”  And many here can testify these days that so were many of their descendents!

What is very healing about genealogy is that we can look at the saints and scoundrels in light of history.  The paper trail seems to take the edge off of any hard feelings. Such an approach, to me, is a healing salve to emotional wounds that span generations and continents. But for now, I am in search of some more documents, more certificates, more churches, more stories, and perhaps even some canonized saints!

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A Saint for the Outcast and those Ostracized

Posted on May 10, 2012 by

 

St. Damien of Molokai. Image obtained from Wikipedia

When one goes to the Hawaiian Islands, most anticipate arriving in paradise.With year-round temperatures hovering around the low 80s, ocean breezes, and tropical plants, Hawaii is the vacation destination for many. In fact, a popular phrase in Hawaii “Chillaxin”,  is a conjunction of the idea of “chilling out” and “relaxing.”   Most recently even Disney has entered the scene with opening a resort on Oahu.

Paradise redefined.

Most don’t associate Hawaii with having anything to do with suffering.  Most these days would consider being banished to Hawaii a luxury. However, like many communities in the old days, Hawaii once had its own leper colony which was on the Island of Molokai. Native Hawaiians were introduced to many diseases previously unknown to them through foreign sailors and visitors. Leprosy, characterized by disfigurement and rotting flesh, was perceived to be highly contagious and caused widespread hysteria and fear.  Anyone suspected of having this condition, also known as Hansen’s disease, was hunted down and banished to a remote area of Molokai. They were forbidden to return to mainstream society. In spite of meager efforts by their government, these persons were left to fend for themselves often being too sick to tend to crops and to build a thriving community. This colony became a wasteland of diseased people. They had inadequate shelter, no healthcare, little food, and unsanitary conditions.  The beautiful island of Molokai had turned into a living hell for such people during the 1800s.

“Discolored patches appear on the skin, especially on the cheeks; and the parts affected lose their feeling. After a time this discoloration coves the whole body; then ulcers begin to open, mainly at the extremities. The flesh is eaten away, and gives out a fetid smell; even the breath of the leper becomes so foul that the air around is poisoned with it.” – St. Damien

The ostracized.

One of my kids in reviewing a vocabulary list for school this morning asked me for a definition of ostracized. My pat answer is to look it up in the dictionary; or in keeping modern technology, to do a search for it on an iPhone. But the request brought to my mind that today, May 10, is the Feast Day of St. Damien of Molokai. This saint was all about the ostracized. He is the patron of those with leprosy and the outcast.

St. Damien of Molokai.

St. Damien was born January 3, 1840 in Belgium. He was named Josef de Veuster at birth. He became a Roman Catholic priest through the missionary order of the Congregation of the Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary. He volunteered to go to Hawaii in 1864 and after 1873 spent 16 years on the quarantined island of Molokai. In the process of caring for the physical and spiritual needs of the inhabitants, he eventually contracted leprosy himself and died from its complications on April 15, 1889.  Pope Benedict canonized him in 2009.

St. Damien did more than care for the spiritual needs of the community. In addition to providing the Sacraments and hearing confessions, he was not inhibited to engage in physical labor which included cleaning and dressing diseased flesh, building and repairing homes, burying the dead, and planting and harvesting crops. These were corporal works of mercy. He gave the ultimate sacrifice of his life to these people. Due to his contact with leprosy, he was banished from mainstream society. He suffered alienation from Hawaiian officials and his religious superiors in Europe. He was also falsely accused of misconduct as leprosy was once mistakenly assumed to be sexually transmitted.

A message for all helpers.

By human nature and by the instinct to survive, many of us may naturally try to keep away from those who are undesirable and pose a potential health risk. We can think of many different types of outcasts in our society.  Examples include those who are homeless, whose who are struggling with addictions, those who might be handicapped, those with contagious diseases, and the aging. Sometimes they might even be people who are different in some slight way. Work with these types of persons can be tiring, demanding, and result in being shunned. It is important to be connected to a source of strength and support. There are many saints in history who have exhibited such compassion for the unwanted of society. Examples include St. Francis of Assisi and Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta.

St. Damien’s work on Molokai was a testimony to the unselfish love of God and shows where he was able to get his source of strength. In spite of how disfigured and otherwise repulsive the presence of these human beings, Father Damien chose to help them and to try to restore their dignity. St. Damien attributed his ability to do this difficult work to the help of God through the Eucharist:

The Blessed Sacrament is indeed the stimulus for us all, for me as it should be for you, to forsake all worldly ambitions. Without the constant presence of our Divine Master upon the altar in my poor chapels, I never could have persevered casting my lot with the lepers of Molokai; the foreseen consequence of which begins now to appear on my skin, and is felt throughout the body. Holy Communion being the daily bread of a priest, I feel myself happy, well pleased, and resigned in the rather exceptional circumstances in which it has pleased Divine Providence to put me.

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In Search of a Cure-All

Posted on May 8, 2012 by

Obtained from an old newspaper ad from Medina, NY

One of my hobbies is genealogy research. In looking through old newspapers I can’t help but get a kick out of the advertisements that I encounter. In the mid to late 1800s the papers were filled with write-ups for concoctions that promised cures to all different types of maladies. One that kept recurring over and over was the cure for catarrh. I couldn’t say that I ever had the catarrh, but after a quick search of the term, I discovered that it is an old-fashioned term for inflammation of the mucus membranes. In other words, what we would might call a runny nose.

The golden age of patent medicines

One of my old textbooks states that the era between 1890 and 1906 was known as the “golden age of patent medicines” (Goldberg, Drugs Across the Spectrum, p. 73). During that time period many proprietary drugs “were sold for every possible problem ranging from colds to asthma to alcoholism to sexually transmitted diseases.” This can be reflected in the copious numbers of ads that filled the newspapers of that day. Unknown to most, many of these over-the-counter drugs contained ingredients such as alcohol, cocaine, and opium.  Thus, such remedies were very addicting contrary to many of the claims of the proprietors. The sales of these substances were largely unregulated until the passage of the Pure Food and Drug Act of 1906.  The article to the right promotes a plaster made from hops.  This kind of gives insight into the origin of the phrase of someone being “plastered.” 

Credible testimonies

One characteristic that is common with all of these ads is the positive testimony of others who have tried the substances. A solid testimony from someone who was respected in the community was a sure sale and led to lots of profit for the entrepreneur. However, frequently testimony was given by someone who lived in faraway places like Iowa and California. Too far without a cell phone to track down someone. Especially if searching from their home in New York in the late 1800s. Also many of the names used were amusing. One remedy was promoted by Dr. I. M. Strong.  Another hair growth tonic product was tested and used by a Mrs. Weed.

The appeal of less suffering and a better quality of life

The obvious appeal of these potions to many a naïve customer was the promise for a cure and the attraction of better quality of life. In the back of my mind is the fact that no matter what ailment might have been pestering these poor souls  in the late 1800s, inevitably each one of them by now has met his or her Almighty Creator, with or without the aid of these cure-alls. Some concoctions perhaps even hastened their demise. 

As time goes on, today we continue to look for cures and ways to improve our lives.  Fortunately there have been advances in some areas of which I am thankful, particularly when my son came down with Scarlett Fever last year.  Without antibiotics, this was a disease that killed many in the past. In the old days, people died of things that today seem very simple. My grandmother’s first husband died of anemia. Also frequently I notice quite a few persons without limbs in the genealogy records. I supposed that this is because an arm or a leg was often cut off when it became infected. We like to think that we have become more sophisticated.  But still the cure for the common catarrh, although known by other names today, still evades us.

We still need healing

As aging mortal beings in a world that is imperfect, we continue to need healing. We never give up on the quest for a better quality of life.  And even if our bodies fail us, we hope to obtain peace in our souls. In today’s Gospel  (Jn 14:27-28) Jesus states: 

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.  Not as the world gives do I give it to you.  Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.”

These are comforting words that heal, if and when I am physically declining.  No potion, no concoction, no panacea, no patent medicine — but only the promise of peace — from the Prince of Peace. Even if the material substances of this world should hasten my demise, some things endure.

Obtained from The World, New York, May 31, 1896.

 

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The Champion Picker

Posted on May 5, 2012 by

(c) 2012 The Catholic Counselor Lady. My Dad, the Champion Cherry Picker, as a boy during the 1950s. He is holding a rabbit.

My Dad likes to tell the story of how as a kid he was once the champion cherry picker in his hometown of Ransomville, NY.  He states that he developed a technique of holding himself in the tree with one hand and pulling the cherries off the branches with the other. I failed to ask him how he got the bucket in position without having everything crash to the ground. I suppose that picking cherries can really teach a person discipline. If you ate too many as you picked, the consequences were worse than losing the contest and ending up with an empty pail. It then became a match as to who could get to the john the fastest.

My old family stomping grounds.

Ransomville, located in the Town of Porter in Niagara County NY, has a rich history of being an area for fruit orchards and fresh produce. It was, and to my knowledge still is, very common for anyone with even a small garden to put some of their yield for sale out in the front yard along the highway. I always thought that the best apples were grown there and couldn’t wait for each year’s new harvest. The tomatoes were the best too. My Mom used to jar bushel after bushel of fresh tomatoes each year. To eat store-bought tomatoes from a can was heresy, especially if you happened to have any Italian blood. I remember buying a can of Chef Boyardee once I was off on my own just to see if I had missed anything.

I hated picking beans.

My Dad’s championship was long before I was born. I have never picked cherries. My task was to pick the beans — at least a quarter of an acre of green and sometimes yellow beans. I was the oldest kid in my family.Therefore, it was determined that I was the most mature and would have the easiest time maneuvering my once skinny self around the low-lying plants. Usually I wasn’t out in the garden at sunrise, but managed to get started in the hot noon sun. I can’t remember why I waited so long. I probably procrastinated getting them picked and put it off as long as possible. I hated picking beans and then snipping them. Once in a heated temper tantrum I ripped out a couple of plants by the roots. After gathering my composure, I made an effort to hide the evidence by pushing the plants back in the ground in hopes that no one will ever notice. The next day, a couple of those plants had turned brown and withered. My stepfather wondered what in the world had happened and concluded that an animal must have trampled or a dog must have made some business on them. I was off the hook and no one ever knew.

One can learn a lot from gardening. 

I learned that if you rip a bean plant out by the root, chances are that they will not be able to thrive well if you try to smash it back into the ground again. Such concepts can be applied to life. Anything being ripped from its natural environment could have great difficulty being transplanted again unless done with great care. Broken relationships are hard to repair and lives disrupted by difficulties sometimes are next to impossible to heal.

But later I learned something more about plants. It really depends on what type of plant as to how well it adapts to changes and disruptions. And with people it depends what they are made of as well. Challenges can define people and show character. I was surprised to learn that grape vines can be grafted back and indeed thrive. Niagara is known for its unique vineyards. However, as a young kid, I never picked grapes, I just got the beans.You know how the old saying goes, if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I was making three bean salad.

Grapes and vineyards appear a lot in the Bible.

Vineyards were used probably because back in the old days it was a common crop to which people could relate. In this Sunday’s Gospel (Jn 15:1-8). Jesus uses one of His famous “I am’s” and describes Himself as the True Vine and God the Father as the Vine Grower:

Jesus said to His disciples:
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vine grower.
He takes away every branch in Me that does not bear fruit,
and every one that does He prunes so that it bears more fruit.
You are already pruned because of the word that I spoke to you.
Remain in Me, as I remain in you.
Just as a branch cannot bear fruit on its own
unless it remains on the vine,
so neither can you unless you remain in Me.
I am the vine, you are the branches.
Whoever remains in Me and I in him will bear much fruit,
because without Me you can do nothing.
Anyone who does not remain in Me
will be thrown out like a branch and wither;
people will gather them and throw them into a fire
and they will be burned.
If you remain in Me and my words remain in you,
ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you.
By this is my Father glorified,
that you bear much fruit and become my disciples.

This is both strong language, beautifully poetic, and contains encouraging promises. It shows the importance of being connected to the Vine. He goes as far as to emphasize the True Vine, not just any old vine. We’re not talking beans here. This image gives insight as to the source of true life and sustenance through the difficulties.

About being grafted back.

But what if we are plucked out by the roots or never attached to the True Vine in the first place?  I dare say that in many respects most of us are like wild shoots in that we are trying to find our way to God. Unlike the beans that I once ripped out of the ground in a furry, vines can be grafted back. The New Testament reassures this in Romans 11:17,23:  But if some of the branches were broken off, and you, a wild olive shoot, were grafted in their place and have come to share in the rich root of the olive tree…And they also, if they do not remain in unbelief, will be grafted in, for God is able to graft them in again.

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The Biggest Loser

Posted on May 3, 2012 by

The Way, a motion picture starring Emilio Estevez and Martin Sheen, gives an account of the pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela

During my studies for my degree in psychology, one of my assignments was to interview a counseling practitioner, in other words, someone who has been out in the field for a while.  I asked this professional what she felt was the most common issue presented by clients. To my surprise her answer was that everyone was dealing with some sort of loss. In fact she took it as far as to say that every circumstance discussed by clients had at its source– a loss. The more I thought about it, the more I agreed. 

Think about it. Our challenges do indeed center on the experience of some type of loss.There are many different losses but they actually can be grouped into a few major categories.

Loss of health

A lot of issues fall under the idea of having a deficit in one’s vigor and physical wellbeing; or, never having perfect health in the first place. People deal with the limitations of their disabilities and/or diagnoses. In the life cycle, many cannot seem to adjust to the natural process of aging and face up to transitions, and the fact that one cannot stay as a young spring chicken forever. This involves changes in health status and participation in activities.  Everyone has heard of the mid-life crisis cliché. Just about everyone knows of someone who is going or went through such a challenge.  Also there are those who have to come to grip with their mortality. There are persons who have the possibility of loss of very life itself. Death is inevitable for everyone but some have to face it prematurely.

Body image plays a big part in this kind of loss. Just about the only thing that I am always happy to lose is weight.  I am too easily captivated by the advertisements and television programs that show a large person transformed by losing over 100 pounds. On the other hand, too much weight loss is a serious problem and is actually a symptom of deeper losses experienced by those who might be fighting anorexia and/or bulimia. Some are willing to intake dangerous diet concoctions and go to extreme physical exertion just in the hopes of shedding a few pounds. In addition we have those who feel the necessity to bulk up in excess and those who have problems with steroids.  This all is done in order to feed a lessened body image and loss of self-esteem. This leads to the next category.   

 Loss of dignity

Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta often spoke of people’s loss of dignity and a lot of her efforts focused on restoring this. She described the destitute as “hungry not only for bread – but hungry for love. Naked not only for clothing – but naked for human dignity and respect. Homeless not only for want of a room of bricks – but homeless because of rejection.”

Loss of dignity is often directly related to loss of innocence. People experience regret over actions and decisions made that resulted in a compromise of their standards and morality. They agonize over loss of purity and the desire to have a clear conscience. 

Those who are struggling with addictions have loss of sobriety, which is really a symptom of other types of losses.  In fact, no one really heals from an addiction unless the underlying issues are addressed.

Loss of love

Failed relationships, divorce, lack of forgiveness, loss of pregnancy, dead beat parents, are all types of lost loves. One can also lose a significant person through death or other circumstances such as moving or relocation.

Some resort to knocking others down because they feel unloved or unworthy themselves. A lot of bullies are actually those who have experienced a great loss of love, not just for others but from others. Those with narcissistic personality traits tend to brag and act grandiose but are actually feeling very inferior inside.

Loss of resources

Just this morning I read an article about a woman who lost a winning million dollar lottery ticket. She had thrown it into the trash by mistake. In our society characterized by economic instability and unemployment, many today are experiencing lack of resources.This hits the category of our basic human needs.If we were to look at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, it doesn’t take long to realize that one’s basic necessities are important to be addressed before taking on the higher ideals. It is a tough position to help heal someone’s depression if they are hungry and don’t have a place to sleep. Yet, at the same time, one can lack all of the physical comforts and yet still have deep peace inside and a sense of meaning in their lives. Once again, Mother Teresa always affirmed that the greatest poverty is spiritual rather than physical.

Loss of direction

A common dilemma is to lose one’s way. A lot of people suffer from lack of direction, goals, and/or encouragement. I remember one client telling me that she wishes she had more people in her life when she was young to tell her where to go. On the other hand, there are others of us who have too many people trying to tell us where to go!

Today (May 3) happens to be the Feast Day of St. James (and Saint Philip).  I mention St. James in particular because of the well-known Way of St. James. This is the pilgrimage route to the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela in Spain where tradition holds that the remains of this Apostle are buried. This is a pilgrimage that has been undertaken by Christians since at least the medieval times.The scallop shell has become a symbol of the Way of St. James as many came back from their travels with it as a souvenir that they picked up at the sea.  Recently this route has been popularized by the motion picture, The Way starring Martin Sheen and Emilio Estevez.

In my opinion, as pilgrims in this life, we are all on a journey. In the context of my Catholic faith, the direction is pointed toward God. But it is easy to lose one’s way and to even get side-tracked. In fact, most effort in life is committed toward staying on course and trying to minimize our losses. In today’s Gospel Jesus says, I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. (Jn 14:6).

An old evangelization pamphlet by Billy Graham states: Over the years I have talked to thousands of people who have asked me how to find their way to God. Some have sat in church pews all their lives but never come to personally know God. Others have sought for ultimate meaning in all sorts of ways but never found the peace of mind for which they were searching. Some simply realize that there is something vital missing in their lives.

This strikes a chord for me both as a licensed professional counselor and as a Catholic Christian. I interpret loss of meaning as the major challenge of many clients and all of the losses can be seen as culminating in the ultimate search for meaning.

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Giving them a Full Life

Posted on April 30, 2012 by

My kids and I when I used to be tall. (c) 2012 The Catholic Counselor Lady

Their newborn faces are forever engraved in my memory. My daughter’s eyes sparkled like dark sapphires at birth and my son resembled a miniature blonde Winston Churchill. Just yesterday I was trying to figure out what to expect when I was expecting. Now, both tower over me. When did I become so short?  Darn that gravity. 

My youngest enters high school this year and my son will be applying to college. My husband keeps asking my daughter, “When did you finish the 4th grade?” We still picture her in a school plaid jumper, knee socks, and black Mary Jane shoes.

We would like to give our children the best of everything. However, it doesn’t take long to see where we often come up short. We cannot guarantee that our children will not face trials, challenges, and temptations.  We cannot guarantee that they will not suffer. All I can do is to try to do my best to provide for their needs. Most of the time, I am not sure what is enough or what constitutes too much.

Not giving them everything is often giving them more

We cannot take their tests and entrance exams. We can only provide an environment conducive to studying, give encouragement, and sometimes even supply threats to stimulate motivation. Once in a while we might pass along a gene or two to help in the area of talent, but not the hours of practice it takes to refine those genes. We might also pass along some of our less desirable traits, like the tendency to worry or to procrastinate.  We might also give them a propensity to have high blood pressure and elevated cholesterol. But at the same time we can model and give them advice on how to manage these things.

Obviously we should not be over-indulgent with material things, even if our pocketbook had no limitations. In some ways it is a good thing we have limited resources. It is important to learn how to do without and also to share. In addition, as they get older it is impossible to clean their rooms all of the time and to wash all of their clothes on demand. By not doing some of these things, I am doing them and their future spouse a favor.

We cannot say our kid’s confessions for them. Although sometimes I think that my kids could do a better job of confessing my sins for me than I do.

There are some things of which we cannot give our kids enough

(1)    We can never give our kids too much love. This cannot be overemphasized! 

(2)    We cannot give them too much of our time. My mother gave me a plaque when my daughter was born that said, “Dishes and laundry can wait, but a baby will not keep.” While they are young, Mom and Dad are the best things since sliced bread. They want to follow and mimic everything.  But typically, chauffeured teenagers want to be dropped off at the corner before ever approaching the vicinity of a school campus. This is to avoid the chance of being seen by peers in the company of an “embarrassing” parent. It is important to develop the pattern of being interested in what children are doing and sharing activities together when they are young. Once they are older, kids themselves start to have less and less free time and might even one day have to live far away.

(3)    We cannot give our kids too much appreciation for spiritual treasures. I’m not talking about cramming religion down their throat; but rather giving them the example of life lived out by faith.  Show them what it really means to practice what you preach. Teach them joy. Show them prayer in action. Show them charity and genuine love for God. Provide for them the opportunity to participate in the Sacraments of the Church.

(4)    We can never pray for them too much. We have the example of saints, like St. Monica who prayed for her son, St. Augustine. I have heard it said that in particular, the prayers of a mother can pierce the heavens.

Are parents ever good enough?

One reason cited by persons contemplating to abort a life is that they feel too inadequate to be good parents.They are fearful that they might not be able to provide the resources necessary for a child to thrive. Perhaps there are a few out there in the world that give birth to their kids with complete confidence. I don’t know them. In fact, I dare say that they are not the norm. It is normal to approach parenthood with some and even a lot of fear of the responsibility. I will admit it. Sometimes I fear that I am forever messing up my kids. Many times I have stood in the middle of Wal-Mart feeling like a deranged mother with two helpless out-of-control kids. But the moment does pass. Only Jesus was given the most perfect mother through the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Immaculate Conception. The rest of us do the best that we can by God’s grace.  

Given life abundantly from Jesus

Children are a gift from God but not our possession. It is important to be willing to rely on God’s help through this process as He is the author and giver of life. In today’s Gospel Jesus states:  “I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly”(John 10:10). There is a lot to be said about a full and abundant life. Like mentioned above, we want to give our children everything possible but we quickly realize our limitations. God wants to do the same thing for each one of us.  The major difference is that He is not limited. He is infinite in mercy and can supply all of our needs according to His riches in glory (Philippians 4:19).

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