Pope Benedict XVI at Easter Mass in 2012

Today, February 11 is the Feast Day of Our Lady of Lourdes.  The Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes marks the observance of the World Day of the Sick.  This celebration is a reminder to pray for the sick and to recognize for all those who work in health care and serve as caregivers.

But today also marks a milestone in the history of our Church, the Holy Father Pope Benedict XVI has taken today Feb. 11, which also precedes the beginning of Lent on Ash Wednesday, to make the announcement of his resignation :  “After having repeatedly examined my conscience before God, I have come to the certainty that my strengths, due to an advanced age, are no longer suited to an adequate exercise of the Petrine ministry. I am well aware that this ministry, due to its essential spiritual nature, must be carried out not only with words and deeds, but no less with prayer and suffering.” (Context of Pope Benedict XVI’s resignation).

Decision was an act of humility through the guidance of the Holy Spirit

No doubt Pope Benedict’s decision was made after much prayer and discernment of the will of God through the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  We might never know the complete dynamics of Pope Benedict’s decision, but nonetheless it was an act that took a lot of humility on the part of the Holy Father.

I like the quote of Sr. Mary Theresa of the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist that appeared on facebook: “Pope John Paul II remained in office so that he might show us how to suffer and how to die. Pope Benedict XVI is leaving the Papal Office so that he might show us how to live in humble honesty.”

It is not by chance that the Holy Father chose February 11 which marks the World Day of the Sick and Suffering.  This is the anniversary of the first apparition of the Blessed Virgin Mary to St. Bernadette in a little grotto in the Pyrenees Mountains of France in 1858.  At that time, no one understood how and why the Blessed Virgin Mary would appear to a 14-year-old uneducated shepherdess.  However, the Blessed Virgin Mary ended up appearing to St. Bernadette 18 times.  Thousands of people witnessed the apparitions where many healings and miracles occurred.

 At one time the Blessed Virgin Mary told St. Bernadette to bathe and drink from an unknown spring which was hidden under the ground.  At first Bernadette dug into the dirt and ended up being ridiculed as she became covered in mud.  However, eventually the water started to run clear.  Since that time the spring has been continually flowing.  On the Feast of the Annunciation, The Blessed Virgin Mary announced her name to St. Bernadette:  “I am the Immaculate Conception.”  These events led to the veneration of Mary in Lourdes which has become a place of prayer, pilgrimage, conversion, and healing.

On change and transition

Most of us don’t like change.  Transitions often involve saying goodbye to an old way of doing things and stepping into the unknown.  In spite of how much we might dislike change, it is the only way that we can progress in our journey and sometimes this involves discovery what God might have in store for us in the road ahead. It takes a great deal of humility and courage to follow the guidance of the Holy Spiril, even when such might not appear popular on the surface.

My family and I have had the opportunity to visit Lourdes, France twice.  The first was on a pilgrimage to France in 2004.  The second was before I started my studies in clinical psychology in 2008 which was the 150^th anniversary of the apparitions.   We have also been able to attend Masses celebrated by Pope Benedict XVI on two occasions.  The last was Easter Sunday Mass in 2012.  I am thankful for the opportunity to have been able to do this with my family.

Remember the sick on this feast day.  Remember our Holy Father Pope Benedict XVI.  Our Lady of Lourdes, pray for each one of us and especially the Holy Father Pope Benedict XVI.

The Feast of the Holy Innocents

 “A person that loses a partner is called a widow.

A child who loses a parent is called an orphan.

But there is no word to describe a parent that loses a child,

Because the loss is like no other. ..”

(Paraphrased from “An Orphan’s Tale, by J. Neugeboren, 1976)

Parental grief

Recently, there has been a lot of talk about the loss of innocent children, particularly in light of the mass shootings in Sandy Hook, New Jersey. There are no words to describe the grief that a parent experiences after the loss of any child. We cannot possibly fathom what such a person might be feeling. And often it is not only the parents, but other family members, friends, and sometimes even strangers. We have little defense in coping with the loss of an innocent child. Some say that the pain lives with them the rest of their life while here on earth. It does not matter what age the child is, whether a fetus or a full-grown adult. There is still grief. Many who have suffered a miscarriage can testify that the emotional pain is very real.

On loss

When someone experiences a loss, they go through all types of different emotions. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying, popularized the five stages of grief. Her model lists them as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. And not everyone goes through all of them or even in that order. In fact some might not even go through any of the stages at all. Each person’s experience of this type of suffering is unique. If this is the case, then what good is a theory? It gives us a template from which to work and somewhat of a ballpark idea of what one might be going through.

Being able to forgive the unforgivable?

Getting over a loss from a tragedy or murder is wrought with additional trials because it involves a pain that is the result of something that is perceived to have been done unjustly. It is natural to feel angry at such. However what makes the major difference and leads to the greatest healing is how one chooses to deal with that anger. Some might feel that seeking revenge or getting even brings satisfaction. However, God’s way to heal the hurt is through forgiveness. We might ask ourselves, how can one ever forgive someone who has done what seems to be the unforgivable? It might be easier to think of a perpetrator who has committed such a crime to be a horrible, nasty, evil, and even less than human. But the fact of the matter is that such a person is actually a human being. Such a person is actually someone who is wounded, hurt, weak, immature, ill, and/or spiritually blind –for whatever reason. Just like each one of us. While it is true that not every person who has imperfections is a mass murderer, we all can see clearly that someone who kills innocent children might not have their elevator connecting on all floors. They are deeply wounded.

Fr. Anthony de Mello, S. J. is quoted as saying “people who hurt are asleep. If they were to wake up they would never behave like that.” (Obtained from “How to Forgive Yourself and Others”, by Fr. Eamon Tobin) Which echoes what Jesus said when He was dying on the Cross, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing (Luke 23:4)”.

I have heard people turn their anger towards God. Some people might conclude that God doesn’t care about them when terrible things happen. There are no easy answers to what happens to any of us while on our journey and in this life on earth. Even non-Christians would agree that this world is full of anxiety and suffering. The worse approach however is breaking our relationship with God and deliberately abandoning prayer. However, if we are Christian, we know that God the Father did not even spare the Cross from His own Son, Jesus. And whether or not we are Catholic we can cling to the redemptive value inherent in suffering. There is a lot of meaning in the saying, “offer it up.” I only wish I had realized this sooner in my own life.

The Feast of the Holy Innocents

The Church celebrates the Feast of the Holy Innocents this week during the Octave of Christmas. This Feast remembers the little babies and children of Bethlehem who were slaughtered by King Herod. In the history of the early Church, these helpless little infants were the first persons to shed blood for the sake of Jesus and as such are known as martyrs. The Scripture repeats the prophesy from the Old Testament: ”Ramah is heard the sound of moaning, of bitter weeping! Rachel mourns her children, she refuses to be consoled, because her children are no more.” (Jeremiah 31:15-16).

These children of Bethlehem did nothing to deserve their demise. And there are likewise so many innocent unborn and born children who die from various causes known and unknown. It can be said that there is an army of children in heaven. Knowing that these little angels have a soul in eternity can be a great source of consolation and hope.

Being able to heal from the pain is a grace from God

Being able to forgive and get over such a loss obviously takes a lot of time, patience, humility and prayer. It is not easy and to think such would be misleading. Taking the step towards forgiveness is actually an act of the will and healing of the hurt most often comes later. This is why often when someone has decided to forgive the feelings of hurt can still emerge even much later down the line. To still feel the pain doesn’t mean that one has not forgiven. One does not have to repress their anger and hurt. It is actually healthy to be able to admit that one is mad and extremely upset. The difference is when one decides to forgive regardless of the hurt. The grace of healing from the pain most of the time comes much later. It is a difficult journey and a tough Cross to carry but can be overcome by the grace of God. This is why prayer is so important throughout the process.

Know when to seek counseling

Sometimes the pain is so deep that it cannot be dealt with alone and a person might need professional help from a counselor and/or a spiritual guide. Just as someone needs help to cure a physical illness, it is wise to know when to seek out counseling. Help is warranted when someone has been unable to perform normal daily activities for an extended period of time. What is considered “normal daily activities” and “an extended period of time” can vary from person to person. But in general, a major change from one’s usual activity level can be a warning sign.

Isn’t abortion a loss too?

No one ever wants to lose a child. Or do they? According to the Centers for Disease Control, about 22% of all pregnancies end in abortion in the United States (National Vital Statistics Reports, April 6, 2010). The most common reasons cited for abortion include not feeling emotionally or financially capable of raising a child and fear that a child would drastically change one’s life (obtained from www.johnstonsarchive.net). But still thousands of women who have actually gone through with an abortion still experience loss and its effects have a negative impact on their life. There are websites such as www.silentnomoreawareness.org and www.afterabortion.org where women and men share their stories. The fetus is a life and any mother can tell you that the maternal bond is formed very early in the womb.

The Scream by Edward Munch (1893). (Obtained from Wikipedia).

What Kind of Society are we Becoming?

I was walking through the business lounge at my office building when I heard someone ask, “What kind of society are we becoming?  Are we no longer safe when we go to a movie theater, the mall, or to an educational institution?  Do we have to worry each and every day we and our beloved ones step outside of our homes?” Terror struck my heart as I quickly learned that approximately 20 children had been shot in addition to several adults in an elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut. The children were between the ages of 5 and 10 years old, undoubtably the most innocent and vulnerable citizens of our society. This is now being called one of the worst mass shootings tragedy in history. Within the first hours of this incident most of the information is confusing and fragmented with various rumors as to what happened and why.  But the fact of matter is that in spite of what details eventually emerge, such an occurrence is brutally senseless. 

Another senseless tragedy

Just a few days ago we heard another report of a gunman who opened fire on innocent people in a mall in Portland, Oregon, killing two persons and himself.  And back in July this year, the media had been dominated by the shocking news of a gunman in who presented himself before the theater of a midnight premier of the Batman movie, “Dark Knight Rises” and proceeded to throw canisters of gas and opened fire onto the audience. This mass shooting in Aurora, Colorado left 12 people dead and dozens injured. It took days for our Nation to await word of the missing and those in critical condition. Even presidential candidates on the campaign trail took a pause from their activities. The audience at the theater consisted of all ages. One victim died on his birthday. Another had just narrowly escaped another mass shooting Toronto, Canada. Then in August 2012 a gunman randomly killed seven people in a Sikh Temple in Oak Creek, Wisconsin.

The frequency of such killings

The site of the Aurora, Colorado tragedy was just 15 miles from Columbine High School, the scene of a 1999 mass shooting where two gunmen killed 12 students and a teacher, before killing themselves. But from the reports of so many recent mass shootings, it seems that these events have occurred in many different places throughout the country.  It has happened in wealthy as well as impoverished communities. As a resident of Chicago, every day brings news of local shootings resulting in several dead and even more injured. Good weather often portends a gun battle somewhere in the city. Statistics given by Fox News state that the Newton Community in Connecticut is affluent with an average yearly family income of $400,000/year. This amount is well above the now well-known quoted $250,000 tax bracket that is being debated as the top wage earners while our country approaches the “fiscal cliff”.

According to the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, the United States has been averaging 20 mass shootings each year, escalating since 2005.  However, it was during the 1980s, that the term “going postal’ became popular as some separate incidences of disgruntled postal workers began picking each other off.  

I don’t know if everyone sees it like I do, but it seems to me that these incidents of mass murders have been escalating. It feels like a society on the edge. It is a lot like my perception of hurricanes, although a natural phenomenon.  I’m about a half of a century old, and I don’t remember hearing much about hurricanes and shooters dressed in military combat outfits opening fire on innocent people at all.  I have heard some even say that these things take on a conspiracy theory type of hue that threatens our Constitutional right to bear arms.

What is the motive of a mass murderer?

The first question that comes to everyone’s mind is why?  Some city homicides are due to gang violence and often are tied to drug activities. But what about a lone gunman who takes an arsenal into a crowded movie theater or to a school full of innocent kindergarteners and elementary students? Many say that it is futile to try to determine the motive of such a killing.  Stephen Albrecht, head of the San Diego Association of Threat Assessment Professionals told Skynews in a telephone interview after the Aurora, Colorado shooting that people “tend to rationalise the irrational behaviour of the people around us and thus skip over signs of an individual on the verge of violence.”  Basically even if someone is a suspect, they are not sure what to do about it. 

A person who acts strange, has mental illness, or even buys a gun is not usually a mass murderer. A person cannot be locked up just because they are different or eccentric. Even most who say they “feel like hurting someone” actually never do commit acts of violence. In my past work in a clinic, we evaluated for homicidal and suicidal ideation. This was largely based on the client’s own affirmation, those of significant others, and history. Then there are those who just plainly negate any such thoughts and have no history. The science of determining those who are a danger to themselves and others is not so exact due to the fickle nature of human beings. In terms of suicide, a person must say that they want to harm themselves, have a plan, and also have a feasible means of carrying it out.

While the examination of the factors and causes of a mass murder is really too broad to address in a short blog, some brief statements can be made. The nature of the killer, type of victim, and motives vary. There are killers who attack people they know and those who assail random strangers. Two main motives identified include revenge and the need for fame and/or attention (Wikipedia). The latter is the reason why many people fear copycat acts of violence after a major event. 

Also there is the question of whether the acts of an individual are really the symptoms of a sick society in general.  In the example of the Aurora, Colorado theater shooting, one can question the coincidence of the type of movie premier selected by the killer which was one noted for grotesque violence.  Witnesses state that the killer dressed like the “Joker” of the Batman movie and was carrying out a scene similar to the Dark Knight. There also have been questions made as to why children and even infants were at a midnight showing of an PG13-rated movie in the first place.

But what about innocent children who are just doing their lessons in school?  Or someone who might be out shopping for their loved ones for Christmas presents?

Talking about it actually helps to bring about healing

In the face of tragedy, silence is actually one of the worst enemies.Trying to hide or sweep something under the carpet only intensifies the horror and pain. Withholding conversation does not protect anyone especially children.  It only makes them feel that others are unavailable to help them. Although we do have to be careful how we approach the topic. I overheard one local student say that when his school made a special announcement that there was a tragedy today in our country, he thought that the December 21, 2012 “End of the World” was starting to be put into motion, that our city was under attack, or that someone had been assassinated. A panic set in his mind before the speaker explained the crisis in Connecticut.

Talking it out, answering questions, and remaining active brings about healing.  Rather than retreating in fear, getting involved in healing and giving expression to our feelings can help with overcoming trauma.  This can take on many forms which include art work, sending donations to victims, writing letters, praying, as well as participation in community programs.  Giving acknowledgement and vaildation of the pain experienced after such an event is important.

Reaction to mass murderer

Figuring out a cause of such a tragedy doesn’t take away the pain and shock. In fact, we cannot know entirely what it is like to lose someone in such a senseless tragedy unless we have experienced it ourselves. But we do share in some of the elements of the shock, terror, and sorrow of such an event.  As a society we all suffer. And in a way, such events that show the worst in some people, can also bring out the best in others. These are the times that communities can come together and people start to think about turning back to God and participating in their houses of worship.

My daughter’s own high school issued a statement that included the following words today: ”Tragic events such as today’s also gives us an opportunity to pray together as a family/community to remember the fact that even in terrible situations good things happen in response (courage, self-sacrifice and love), and that if we are to have peace in our homes, community and world  — it always begins with each one of us.”

Let us never forget our source of peace, the Prince of Peace, through such difficult times. That our sorrows and sufferings on this earth are not in vain but can have deep spiritual value.

Obtained from the Catholic Study Fellowship Facebook page:

The grave stone of Constance Hopkins Snow, Mayflower Pilgrim, at Cove’s Burying Ground in Eastham, MA

That’s right, Mayflower roots. I could barely believe it myself. Those of you who have been following this blog know that my hobby is genealogy. Serendipitously I recently came across some information about a couple of ancestors from my Grandma Pearl Walker’s line. When I initially started my research, I did not even imagine the possibility of having direct Revolutionary War patriots in my family tree, let alone a real live (or should I say deceased) pilgrim or two.  Who would have known it?  But there they were: Stephen Hopkins (1581-1644), my 12x great grandfather and his daughter Constance Hopkins(1606-1677), my 11x great grandmother.

Stephen Hopkins, a survivor and quite the character

Stephen Hopkins was born 1581 in Hampshire England during the reign of Queen Elizabeth I. Her successor, King James I chartered the Virginia Company to establish a colony in the new world. Stephen Hopkins, an adventurous spirit, set out to sail to Jamestown, Virginia on the supply ship named Sea Venture in 1609.  His first wife Mary and three children Elizabeth, Constance, and Giles remained in England for this endeavor and received some of his wages as a minister’s clerk and indentured servant. On his way to Jamestown he encountered a violent storm and was shipwrecked in Bermuda for 10 months. His fellow castaways included John Rolfe, who later married Pocahontas; and Sir Thomas Gates who was to serve as Jamestown’s new governor.  Stephen was in the company of Gates but complained and questioned the governor’s authority.  As a result, Stephen was charged, found guilty of mutiny, and sentenced to death.  After pleading for mercy and in tears, his sentence was dropped.  “So penitent he was, and made so much moan, alleging the ruin of his wife and children in this his trespass, as it wrought in the hearts of all the better sorts of the company.”  (Obtained from Mayflowerhistory.com).  It is said that a subplot in Shakespeare’s play “The Tempest” was likely based on Stephen Hopkins’ character.   

Eventually in 1610 the castaways were able to construct two boats made of cedar that took them to Jamestown. Stephen reportedly worked in Jamestown from 1610 until about 1614 when news emerged that his first wife had suddenly died in England leaving his children alone and under the care of the Church. Stephen then returned to England and married Elizabeth Fisher. Upon learning about a Mayflower voyage to start a new colony in “Northern Virginia”, Stephen signed up. Not many passengers took their entire family on the Mayflower, but Stephen Hopkins decided to take his pregnant second wife, all of his known living children, and two male servants with him for what would become the infamous treacherous journey in 1620.

We come from hearty stock

102 passengers and 30 crew men were crammed into the 100 foot Mayflower in September 1620. The gale tossed ship veered off course from its destination to Virginia and ended up being docked in Cape Cod in November of that year where the Mayflower Compact was signed.  Two passengers died at sea.  There was one birth during the journey.  Stephen Hopkins’ wife gave birth to a son, Oceanus.  Upon arrival to Plymouth, winter had set in leaving no time to build adequate housing so most of the passengers lived onboard the Mayflower docked in the harbor.  Conditions were very poor on the ship that was cramped and dirty.  Half of the Pilgrims would die that first winter. The Hopkins was the only family unit to survive entirely through that ordeal.

Stephen was noted to be of great help as an explorer of the territory in his knowledge of hunting, fishing, and was considered the “expert” on the Natives from his experiences at Jamestown.  It is said that the first meeting with the Native Americans was at the Hopkins’ residence and that Samoset had stayed overnight in Stephen’s home.  Stephen was an assistant to the governor from 1633-36.  However, he soon fell out of favor with the Plymouth Colony after he set up a shop and served alcohol. He was fined for playing shuffleboard on Sunday, allowing excessive drinking in his house, selling beer at excessive prices, and a looking glass for twice its worth. He also seriously wounded John Tisdale in a fight.  Stephen died in 1644 desiring to be buried by his second wife, and leaving a will to his surviving children.

Constance Hopkins, a young teen on the Mayflower

Constance Hopkins was born in Hampshire, England in 1606.  She was only 14 years old when she came to American on the Mayflower with her father Stephen Hopkins, stepmother Elizabeth, brother Giles, and stepsister Damaris.  Constance may have been one of the first European women to step foot in New England since Freydis, the sister of Leif Ericsson in about 1002-1006 AD.  Constance’s future husband, Nicholas Snow later arrived on the ship Anne in 1623.  The couple eventually moved to Eastham, Massachusetts.  According to records written by William Bradford in 1651, Constance Hopkins Snow had 12 children with “all of them living.” She died in 1677 and is buried in Cove Burying Ground in Eastham, MA.  Constance Hopkins’ original hat made of beaver pelt is on display in the Pilgrim Hall Museum.

 Constance’s daughter, Sarah Snow (1632-1697), would marry William Walker (my 10x great grandfather) in 1655.  William Walker is a direct ancestor of my Grandmother Pearl Walker.  Former President Ulysses S. Grant also is noted to have descended from Sarah Snow.

The first Thanksgiving

Many cultures lay claim to a “First Thanksgiving.”  In fact, many faiths have feasts and occasions which observe giving thanks to God.  The term Eucharist itself means “good gift.” Although most Americans associate Thanksgiving with the Pilgrims, even the events that occurred at Plymouth are up to debate. History points to the Pilgrim Thanksgiving as being observed on the occasion of a bountiful harvest after a particularly difficult winter.  Those who had survived starvation and witnessed the death of 50% of the population the prior winter desired first to show their gratitude to God and to share out of their abundance.  However this feast was not observed every year.   William Bradford called a feast whenever the community experienced a time of drought or need followed by a shipment of supplies or a productive crop.

God’s gift in my own life

My own life has a special connection to Thanksgiving.  After experiencing a miscarriage from my first pregnancy, I felt uncertain if I would be able to ever have any children.  Upon discovering that I was expecting another child, it was with great joy that I learned of the due date of my son was to be on Thanksgiving Day in 1995. The name I chose was “Jonathan” meaning “God’s gift” or God is gracious”.  As it happened, he ended up being born 3 days before Thanksgiving that year!

We all are privileged

We are all privileged regardless of our ancestry. In the midst of our troubles many of us have a tendency to forget that God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in distress. (Psalms 46:2).  Whether or not we choose to acknowledge Him, all good gifts come from God, and even the challenges as well as the gift of our own lives. The early Pilgrims experienced this upon the raging seas and through times of plentiful harvest and blessings.  All of us are pilgrims on a journey to God.  Along the way we encounter periods of abundance intertwined with times of great need.  This brings to mind a famous poem that was once found on a soldier in Gettysburg:

A Christian Confederate Soldier’s Prayer

(Anon – alleged to have been found on a CSA casualty at the Devil’s Den, Gettysburg)

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve. I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.

I asked for health, that I might do greater things.I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.

I asked for riches, that I might be happy. I was given poverty, that I might be wise.

I asked for power that I might have the praise of men.

I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life.

I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing that I asked for but got everything I had hoped for.

Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.

I am, among all people, most richly blessed.

(Information for this article was gathered from various websites including pilgrimhall.org, mayflowerhistory.com, wikipedia and my family tree at ancestry.com).

My great grandfather George C Walker and his daughter my grandmother Pearl Irene Walker, both descendants of Pilgrims Stephen and Constance Hopkins. Photo taken about 1912 in Niagara Falls, NY

The first day in this month of November is observed in the Catholic Church as All Saints Day. The Gospel reading for that day featured Jesus preaching the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5:1-12. The very first Beatitude is “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven” (Matthew 5:3).  I have been meditating on the concept of the poor in spirit since then and especially in light of current events. Whatever poor in spirit means, it appears to hold the key to blessedness and wholeness.

The Man of Constant Sorrow

Sometimes people assume that being poor in spirit means being depressed, sad, downcast, and downtrodden. Or that being poor in spirit involves a certain level of beating oneself up emotionally through scrupulosity and unnecessary guilt. Many might be quick to claim such poverty as they can see their own sorrows portrayed in descriptions of hard times and difficulties. The image of the Man of Constant Sorrow resonates with a lot of us.  Especially when our challenges seem to be overwhelming and oppressive. A lighthearted song of the Man of Constant Sorrow appears in the film “O Brother Where Art Thou” performed by the fictional Soggy Bottom Boys. This humorous song pokes fun at the condition of being full of sorrow. It is a play on Isaiah 53:3 which foreshadows Jesus as “spurned and avoided by men, a man of suffering, knowing pain.  Like one from whom you turn your face, spurned…” Poverty of spirit can incorporate a lot of these things and the real sorrows that people might experience are not trivial. However, the state of truly being poor in spirit means even much more.

The posture of the beggar

The Catholic Encyclopedia states that “the word poor seems to represent an Aramaic ‘ányâ (Hebrew ‘anî), bent down, afflicted, miserable, poor.”  The image of a person who is “bent down” is reminiscent of the posture of a beggar.The poor among us are the most vulnerable. They are detached from wealth, prestige, and honor. They are bent over in their depravity. The Catholic Encyclopedia further describes poverty of spirit as not being limited “to economical need and distress, but may comprehend the whole of the painful condition of the poor: their low estate, their social dependence, their defenseless exposure to injustice from the rich and the mighty.”

It is easier for the physically poor to be closer to God because they have no one and nothing on which to cling.  Material possessions can hold a person back as minds and souls can be filled with “stuff” leaving no room for God. In the state of poverty, empty hearts and desires are more bent and disposed towards leaning on God. The experience of feeling empty in one’s life is actually a great gift because it is really a chance to be open to God’s will and guidance. This is why many religious orders take vows of poverty so that they might aid themselves physically in mirroring what they are trying to accomplish spiritually.

Everyone needs “stuff”

Everyone needs “stuff” in this life to survive. We need a place to live, clothing to keep warm, food to eat, and a way to provide for families. Money in itself is morally neutral.  According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, the sensitive appetite leads us to desire pleasant things we do not have, e.g., the desire to eat when we are hungry or to warm ourselves when we are cold. These desires are good in themselves; but often they exceed the limits of reason and drive us to covet unjustly what is not ours and belongs to another or is owed to him (2535).

Physical poverty doesn’t guarantee a free ticket to heaven

However, just because someone is physically poor doesn’t guarantee automatic sainthood. In addition, taking on poverty doesn’t mean avoiding the responsibility to pay for something. A poor person as well as a wealthy one can become spiritually corrupt through greed for those things that are possessed by others. Envy is a sin and goes against the 10^th Commandment:  You shall not covet. . . anything that is your neighbor’s. . . You shall not desire your neighbor’s house, his field, or his manservant, or his maidservant, or his ox, or his ass, or anything that is your neighbor’s (Exodus 20:17).  

And a person who refuses to hear or read that any sort of activity might be labeled a sin could indeed be full of his or her own self and therefore be in no way poor in spirit. A lot of persons may want to lay claim to poverty in order to get recognition and to obtain pity. It is also possible for a person to have very little in terms of material possessions and still lack spiritual interest or desire for God. They may resent any idea of religion or any person or thing representative of organized religion. Some might use poverty as an excuse to try to justify acts such as abortion or theft.  They might try to reason that they cannot afford a child or that they are entitled to things that do not belong to them.

What then is being poor in spirit?

Being poor in spirit is being humble. Humility is knowing oneself in relationship to God. It is acknowledging one’s own emptiness, shallowness, and vulnerabilities. In the midst of all of the ”stuff” one can still have great spiritual need. It is saying that God is needed and welcome in our lives, in our homes, in our communities, and in our nation.  It is accepting that God is the Creator of the Universe and the source of all life. This involves giving credit to God for accomplishments and achievements.  It is saying with confidence that God is good, even in the face of difficulties. It is praising God through the storms.

Poverty of spirit also involves being thankful. It is being grateful to God for whatever circumstances and all that one has been given or not been given. This does not involve blaming God or others when tough times come our way.

Poverty of spirit is a hunger to be filled and satisfied with God. Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta once said:  “The greatest disease in the West today is not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world dying for a piece of bread but there are many more dying for a little love. The poverty in the West is a different kind of poverty — it is not only a poverty of loneliness but also of spirituality. There’s a hunger for love, as there is a hunger for God.” 

There is also hunger and thirst for justice which actually is highlighted as the fourth Beatitude:  Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after justice for they shall have their fill.  This involves those who stand for the Absolute Truth and do not cave into the ideology of Relativism. It is not by coincidence that Jesus gave to us the Eucharist, which is the food for spiritual sustenance and strength through our journey in life.

Seeing Jesus in the poor

Don’t ignore the poor. In them one can indeed see the face of Jesus. Those who are not as nicely dressed, who smell, and can’t afford to impress are opportunities for giving and receiving God’s love. In coming into this world, Jesus chose to be born in a barn and to be the stepson of a simple carpenter. According to Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen, “Our Lord not only preached poverty of Spirit; he also lived it, and he lived it in such a way as to conquer the three kinds of pride: the pride of what one has, which is economic pride; the pride of what one is, which is social pride; and the pride of what one knows, which is intellectual pride.” (From Sheen’s book the Cross and the Beatitudes Lessons on Love and Forgiveness).

To summarize, Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen states, “The Beatitude means then:  Blessed are those who are not possessed by their possessions; blessed are they who whether or not they are poor, in fact are poor in their inmost spirit.”  These are very trying times and we might indeed feel like the Man of Constant Sorrow. In whatever state one might be, pray for the grace to live with humility, gratefulness, and with a true sense of Christian charity.

The squeaky wheel always gets the oil.

Common fears and misconceptions about seeking help

Initiating counseling is a very big step for most people. In fact it is very common to have some apprehension about seeking professional help with personal issues. There are concerns about whether or not treatment is done with compassion and respect. Fear of experiencing shame, ridicule, and humiliation can be an inhibiting factor. They wonder if the counselor will treat them with unconditional positive regard and be non-judgmental. Some have anxiety about the social stigmata associated with mental health issues and have serious questions about confidentiality. Another person might believe that their situation is so unique that no one on this earth has ever had to deal with such issues. On the other hand, there are those that might think that their circumstances are not that significant and hope for eventual resolution with no type of intervention. There are some who feel that in asking for help they are a bother, a nuisance,or that they might be a disruption to the status quo. They might wonder if counseling is really worth the time. Finally, there are those who don’t know how to go about getting the help that they need.

Getting help is a sign of strength not weakness

Mustering up the motivation to seek help is a significant step. It is actually part of the healing process. This is not just because it is the very first step. Asking for help shows a level of commitment for change. It is actually a sign of strength and a good indicator for future healing. Let’s just say that the person who goes to counseling with a willing and open heart has a better prognosis for healing than the one who goes into it kicking and screaming.This is not only intuitive but also backed up by studies. One has to want to be helped.

Compassionate and well-trained professionals

Most counselors and therapists, if not all, go into the field out of a desire to help others. Many have a deep well of compassion and sincere concern for the well-being of their clients. Counselors are trained extensively in the principles of ethics. In order to obtain a state license they are committed to abiding by the rules of confidentiality, client privacy, and rights. Counselors are required to study diversity which involves a lot of focus on treating persons from various cultures and orientations. This is because everyone on the planet is different. All counselors and clients have unique personalities and backgrounds that they bring to the process. Just as there are no two people exactly alike (even twins are different), every counselor using the same theoretical approaches will end up putting a personal spin to it.

On the other hand, people are not so different that counselors cannot find similarities. No one’s problems are too big or too small. Everyone has issues. Think about it. Is there anyone who truly has it all together? This is not talk about characters from movies, popular television programs, or novels. Is there anyone who in real life does not have challenges?  Life is a journey with hills and valleys. No one is unscathed from trials. Even the picture perfect family has issues scratching below the surface.

A person is not a diagnosis

One concern about the counseling process is with labeling a person with a disorder. In fact, some therapeutic approaches to counseling avoid diagnosing altogether. If done haphazardly the diagnostic process itself can indeed pathologize a person. Some clients have concern about diagnoses on their medical charts following them throughout their entire lives. Insurance companies require diagnostic labels for payment. However, such information given to a third party is protected property as there are specific laws pertaining to patient privacy and confidentiality. Obviously counselors that do not accept insurance reimbursement in most cases have fewer parties involved with a client’s personal information. Whatever the situation, it is important to remember that a client is not a diagnosis. A person with depression or anxiety has just as much dignity as a person with a heart disease or high blood pressure. A person would never be labeled a heart attack or a hypertensive. Neither should one be called a manic or a schizophrenic.

Some not so obvious ways people go about asking for help

There are many ways that people might go about asking for help. While some do actually scream for it, many do it nonverbally. They drop clues and ask in ways that are not so obvious. Children often beg for help by acting out and/or misbehaving. This is because unconsciously they discover that attention for negative activity is better than no attention at all.  Some teens and young adults might show a dramatic change in their behavior for the worse.  A previously good student might suddenly start failing most subjects in school. A person who is previously outgoing and talkative might become significantly introverted and reserved. Someone who is usually calm might become more easily agitated or have frequent crying episodes. Or a person might appear to be unrealistically happy. It is common for some to deny they need any help. Or another might have trouble just asking.

An example of motivation and being persistent for change

This Sunday’s Gospel (Mark 10:46-52) features a man who is insistent on getting the help that he needs.  Bartimeaus is a blind man and a beggar. Upon hearing that Jesus was near, Bartimeaus shouts, “Jesus, son of David, have pity on me”.  Others tell him to be quiet but this causes the blind man to shout even louder and to be even more persistent and annoying to those around him. As a result the Gospel reads:  “Jesus said to him in reply, ‘What do you want me to do for you?’ The blind man replied to Him, ’Master, I want to see.’  Jesus told him, ‘Go your way; your faith has saved you.’ Immediately he received his sight and followed Him on the way.”

The squeaky wheel gets the oil

This passage is probably among the best examples of someone being motivated for change. Bartimeaus persisted in spite of the discouragement of others. And his efforts got results. Ever hear of the saying that the squeaky wheel always get the oil?  He didn’t allow his life circumstances to hold him back.  He asked, he sought, he knocked on the door, and “he threw aside his cloak,” for help.  His healing was so life changing that upon receiving his sight, Bartimeaus “followed Him along the way.” His old cloak was left in the dust.

I wonder how many of us are blind or in need of insight but are found weighed down by misconceptions, circumstances, and inhibitions?  An important piece of this Gospel account that cannot be overlooked is the role that Bartimaeaus’ faith played in his recovery. Bartimeaus surrendered himself blindly to Jesus. He abandoned himself in order to obtain help. “Jesus told him, ‘Go your way; your faith has healed you.’  Jesus’ healing was such that it made Bartimeaus whole, not only physically but also spiritually and emotionally.

A lot can be learned from the humble cries of this blind beggar.

(c) 2012 Bernard Eden. A peaceful tree in Hawaii. Thriving means being content in whatever situation we might find ourselves. It also means taking time to appreciate the wonders of nature and to have awe for God.

What is it to really thrive?

Do you feel as though life has been passing you by? Are you waiting for your ship to come in? Do you find yourself asking if this is all there is to life?

Not long ago I was flipping through channels on the television when I chanced upon a point in a program where someone was saying that his or her objective in life was much more than just survival and coping with circumstances. This person wanted to really thrive. What is it to really thrive? This struck a chord with me and is something that I have been meditating on for quite a while.

Surviving.

Many go throughout life in what might be termed as the survival mode. Henry David Thoreau famously once wrote that “the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” They chug along just doing the best that they can with what they can get. Focus is on obtaining basic physiological needs such as food, water, shelter, sex, and safety. These are very real issues for everyone but especially for those who live in or on the brink of poverty, unemployment, and/or underemployment. This also pertains to those who are trying to live in spite of physical challenges and health issues.

Fight or flight. When the threat of danger approaches, our bodies are naturally wired for fight or flight.This goes back to day of the cave man where surviving an encounter with a saber-toothed tiger meant either slaying the beast or running away.  In either instance the adrenaline is flowing, the heart is racing, the senses are on alert, and the blood pressure is up.  Although no one today has face-to-face encounters with live prehistoric creatures; many still have modern wild dinosaurs that emerge in the course of everyday life that trigger the old fight or flight response. This is sometimes conscious, but most often it is unconscious. Usually there are no physical monsters at all just things and circumstances that are reminiscent of them. Life in the big city is full of stimuli that bombard that senses.  Anything that seems like the saber-toothed tiger triggers the physiological fight or flight. 

In addition, when an immediate threat is over many have great difficulty returning to their baseline relaxation state.They have trouble turning off the fight or flight switch. A perceived danger can swing a person into overdrive quicker than the brain can mentally process. Over time a person can become more and more broken down physically, psychologically, and even spiritually. Anxiety attacks prevail. An extreme form of this may take on characteristics similar to Post-traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD).

Withdrawal and avoidance. There are other types of fight or flight responses that a person might fall into. A person might become combative, irritable, and/or have difficulty managing anger. Another manifestation is seen in a person who might try to avoid anything perceived as a stressor, or to flee from anxieties. Some might even withdraw altogether in relationships and have difficulty making decisions, commitments, and evade responsibilities.

Psychological needs. In addition to the physical needs, there are some very real psychological needs and challenges as well. Psychologists have shown that the needs of love, belongingness, self-esteem, respect, achievement, and meaning are sometimes even more essential than food.  

Spiritual needs. There are also spiritual needs of which some people literally starve themselves.  A person can have everything in terms of material possessions, fame, and fortune but yet still be very empty inside. They build bigger and bigger warehouses to hold all of their goods to no avail. In the Gospel of Luke (12:15) Jesus gives the warning, Take care to guard against all greed, for though one may be rich, one’s life does not consist of possessions.”

Developing coping skills.

Many seek out counseling in an effort to develop coping skills superior to the old intrinsic fighting or fleeing behaviors and to stop their biological systems from physically going into overdrive. Coping skills help a person transition from being a victim to taking control over their circumstances.

Addictions.  The survival mode can get out of balance and result in less than optimal coping skills. Addictive behaviors can happen when a person tries to self-medicate to deaden or heighten their senses, to be avoidant, to flee from circumstances, to find meaning, to obtain comfort, to relieve boredom, and/or to just satisfy curiosity.  Studies have shown that such attempts at self-soothing behavior can be both conscious and unconscious.  Addictions do not always take the form of drugs, but also can be manifested in terms of behaviors. Sex addictions, shopping, and gambling are common examples of activities that produce artificial highs and a false sense of coping.

Chemical imbalances.   Some persons through no fault of their own might experience chemical imbalances. A common example is what happens when a person might have swings in blood sugar with hunger. They might become easily irritated and impatient due to changes in insulin in their body. There are others that are biologically predisposed to overdrinking and over indulging. Some might seek comfort through overeating. However there are also those who engage in not eating at all. Though not in every case, cigarette smoking and marijuana usage has been linked to people challenged with serious psychological conditions and mental illness.  Such persons could indeed be searching for balance and trying to find a more optimal way to get through their lives. Although from a diagnostic standpoint, it is a gray area of whether substance abuse causes mental illness, is a form of escape from psychological distress, both, or neither. One sure thing is that an addiction doesn’t make things any better in the long or even short run. In psychology it is common that those who fight some sort of addiction also have a comorbid condition or conditions. By comorbid  a person has more than one diagnosis complicating  their emotional health picture.

Thriving.

Life is a journey.  That journey involves peaks and valleys. It also involves running into and away from monsters.  But at the same time it would be nice to realize that we can do more than just survive and cope through life.  We are more than victims in the jungle.  We can thrive. Thriving implies growing and making progress.  Interestingly, one can be on the brink of death and still thrive. One can be physically starving and still thrive.  A person who has been in the valley of addictions can still rebound to thrive. Everyone has encountered at least one person in his or her life that is a blessing to others through their suffering. This is what testimonies are made of.  We don’t have to look too far to find a Savior who was crucified, died, and was resurrected.

What is thriving?  Thriving is an attitude and a state of the soul. It is learning how to be content with whatever state we might find ourselves.  Sure, everyone wants to be happy. Everyone wants peace. But many confuse happiness with pleasure and crumble in the midst of a storm. It is being able to appreciate and value the joy and love that can be found in relationships with others. It is taking the time to have wonder at the beauty of the natural world around us. It is being in awe of God. It is rising above the flight or fight response.  Sometimes it means calmly standing up to the saber-toothed tiger with complete confidence. It does not mean being the biggest or the greatest. Often it means being the most humble. This sounds next to impossible, doesn’t it?  But we have to remember that nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37).

Tools for thriving. Prayer and participation in the Sacraments are essential for thriving. We can obtain grace from these things. Grace is participation in the life of God (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1997). Unfortunately many have imposed spiritual starvation upon themselves. In the medical world, a baby that refuses to eat is labeled as having “failure to thrive.” We are more than animals that are fighting and fleeing creatures in the jungle.  In the spiritual life many of us are still babies and we do indeed need spiritual food to thrive. This life is not all that there is. We have souls that need to be fed and nurtured for life here in preparation for eternity.

Similarly tested in every way.  This past Sunday’s New Testament reading (October 21, 2012) spoke of our source of strength:  “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has similarly been tested in every way, yet without sin.  So let us confidently approach the throne of grace to receive mercy and to find grace for timely help.”

Help comes from One who did not spare Himself from the trials and difficulties of this world but rather is a trailblazer through the storm. Jesus has said, “I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly.”  This sounds a lot like thriving to me.

Kateri Tekakwitha, known as the Lily of the Mohawks, will become the first Native American saint. She will be canonized along with six others at the Vatican this Sunday on October 21, 2012.

Disfigured and blinded by smallpox

Kateri Tekakwitha was a Native American Algonquin-Mohawk woman born in 1656 in the upstate New York area of what is now known as Auriesville. Her parents and siblings had contracted smallpox when Kateri was four years old leaving her an orphan. The disease had also attacked Kateri which disfigured her face and left her almost blind.  As a result she was given the designation,“Tekakwitha” which means “she who bumps into things.”  She was adopted by her Uncle who became chief of the tribe.

Converted to Catholicism

Jesuit Missionaries called the “Blackrobes” lived in her village in accordance with a treaty between the tribe with the French.  She converted to Catholicism in spite of opposition from her Uncle and tribe. She was baptized Kateri (Catherine) on Easter Sunday. After her conversion, she experienced a lot of hostility and difficulties from her community.  She was very shy, modest, and often covered her face because of her smallpox scars. She ended up leaving her village and took a 200-mile walking journey through thick forest, swamps, and streams to a Christian Native American village at Sault St. Louis, near Montreal.

A life dedicated to God

Her life was one that was dedicated to God. She spent long hours in prayer, fasting, and performing many penances.  She was focused on helping the aged, sick, and less fortunate around her. She also enjoyed going into the woods alone in order to prayer and commune with God. She would often fashion crosses out of sticks and place them throughout the forest. At the age of 23 she took a vow of virginity, which was never done by any of the Native American women whose lives usually depended on marriage. She wanted to form a religious community but was discouraged from doing so.

“Jesus I love You.”

She died at the age of 24 in 1680. Her last words were “Jesus, I love You.” At that time witnesses stated that her disfigured face changed color and transformed into a healthy beautiful one. Many miracles and supernatural events have been attributed to her after her death over 300 years ago.

A medically inexplicable cure

Kateri Tekakwitha was beatified by Pope John Paul II in 1980. The final miracle that propelled Kateri Tekakwitha to sainthood involved the 2006 healing of a five-year-old boy from flesh-eating bacteria that had rapidly spread from an infected cut on his lip. The boy was on the brink of death and his parents were making plans for his organ donation.  After family members, friends, and his community prayed for intercession and placed the relic of Kateri by the boy, he miraculously recovered. The Vatican had certified that the miracle was deemed “a medically inexplicable cure” performed through the intercession of Blessed Kateri. On October 21, 2012 Blessed Kateri will be canonized.

A heroic example

“In this day and age, when the pleasure-principle so dominates our society, and when people expend all kinds of time, effort and energy to remove the Cross from Christianity and to escape the sometimes harsh realities and responsibilities of mature Christian living, Kateri Tekakwitha stands as a heroic example of how to integrate the mystery of the Cross with the mystery of the Resurrection in a way that gives honor and glory to God and that ensures loving service to His people.”-Most Reverend Howard J. Hubbard, DD, Bishop of Albany, N.Y. (Obtained from http://conservation.catholic.org/kateri.htm).

Kateri Tekawitha’s life is one that shows how she persevered in spite of all obstacles to follow her faith and convictions. She became Catholic when it was not popular in her culture and among her peers to do so. Kateri Tekawitha’s life is a testimony of how God chooses the weak and makes them strong. She is called the “Lily of the Mohawks” because of her purity.

(c) 2012 Bernard Eden. St. Teresa of Avila in Ecstasy by Bernini. Famous sculpture appears in the Basilica of Santa Maria della Vittoria in Rome

A saint who had a tough time in prayer

Today’s saint sympathizes with all of those who have difficulty in prayer.  Because like most of us, she experienced the distractions of everyday life, a wandering mind, hardships, boredom, challenges, and everything possible to pull her away from lifting her heart up to God.  It is hard to imagine that a saint who eventually became a spiritual Doctor of the Church once had a tough time praying.  But she did.

The Interior Castle and The Way of Perfection

October 15 is the Feast Day of a Doctor of the Church and the Carmelite nun St. Teresa of Avila (1515-1585).  She is also referred to as St. Teresa of Jesus. She is known for her profound writings on prayer and the spiritual life.  Her works include her Autobiography as well as deep mystical reflections in The Interior Castle and The Way of Perfection. She wrote of castles and mansions but not the type that most of us are familiar with in fairy tales.  Rather she described the castle of one’s interior heart and the soul’s journey in achieving union with God.

Off to Africa to get her head chopped off

St. Teresa was born in the Avila province of Spain on March 28, 1515. At the age of about seven, St. Teresa ran away from home with one of her brothers in hopes of going to Africa to become a martyr.  She figured that in such a way they would get to see Jesus quicker. Their plan was to seek out the Moors in order to beg for beheading. Their little adventure became short-lived after barely getting out of the neighborhood. So they attempted to become hermits in their own back yard. In the midst of these acts of piety, St. Teresa eventually grew into a typical teenager of the 1500s in that she also enjoyed reading romance novels, fashion, flirting, and parties.    

 Convent was quite the social center in her day

At the age of 15, St. Teresa’s mother died. She had difficulty adjusting to the death of her mother so her father sent her to live in a convent. St. Teresa actually found the nuns there to be quite the socialites and less strict than her own father. During her day, the convents were places where many women went because they had no other place to go. Their habits were worn attractively and the parlors were full of visitors that included young men.

St. Teresa considered herself to be quite the sinner. Upon taking a vocation, she tried to embrace the Carmelite order very seriously. She dedicated herself to long hours of prayer of which she felt unsuccessful for many years.  The environment of the busy convent became a hindrance for her. A likeable and popular person, she felt herself becoming easily caught up in the gossip, flattery, and social events surrounding her community.

Struck down with illness

Then she became very ill with malaria and went into a coma for several days. Many thought that she was dead and started digging her grave. After surviving this event she became paralyzed for three years and never regained perfect health. At this time she encountered even greater difficulty in being able to pray.  She was easily distracted and would come up with whatever excuses she could find not to pray.  It wasn’t until she was 41 years old that a priest convinced her to take up praying again. Gradually she progressed from being able to recollect her thoughts, to having devotions of silence, to experiencing ecstasies, visions, and spiritual union with God.  It was out of these experiences that she became a master of mystical theology and went about reforming her Carmelite order. Along with St. John of the Cross, she became the founder of the Discalced Carmelites.

Some of St. Teresa’s advice on prayer

The advice that St. Teresa gives about prayer comes out of her own personal experience. Her works, very profound and detailed, make them a challenge to describe in a few short words. Yet, they contain simple wisdom that can be understood by anyone with childlike faith.  According to St. Teresa:

“Contemplative prayer [oración mental] in my opinion is nothing else than a close sharing between friends; it means taking time frequently to be alone with Him who we know loves us.”